


a permanent piece of my (medium sized) american heart

by crispierchip



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Domestic, Getting Together, Kid Fic, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 04:23:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14276835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispierchip/pseuds/crispierchip
Summary: “Yeah, so,” Nate starts again, quieter now, “I have, uhm, kids.”EJ blinks. “Like, cousins?” he asks.On the other end of the line, Nate chuckles. “More like two daughters.”





	a permanent piece of my (medium sized) american heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is written in response to brenna’s prompt for the avsfam challenge, where nate has kids and ej finds himself getting involved
> 
> thank you to brenna for the wonderful prompt, i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! also to avsfam for organizing this and being great in general <3
> 
> emily had to do an incredible amount of work on this. without her this story would not be as cohesive as it is or as enjoyable [hopefully!]. thank you, you’re awesome <33
> 
> also thank you to laura for the encouragement, and everyone who was excited <3
> 
> title from the national bc i am the writer and i get to do what i want

EJ is still arguing with his contractor as he makes it on the team plane. He’s trying to set up a date for the remodelling, but John keeps going on about the weather, which is not helping EJ understand in the least. 

“What do you mean August?” EJ asks him, making his way over to his and Gabe’s seats. 

“If you want to repaint, the best month to do it would be August,” John tells him patiently. 

EJ sighs. He was thinking if they started in June then they’d be done by September and then EJ would, you know, have a place to live by the preseason. 

“Are you sure we can’t start sooner?” he asks, “Like June?”

From his seat, Gabe frowns. EJ ignores him and shrugs off his bag. 

“Not if you want the paint to dry eventually,” John says. He sounds kind of defeated now, which is fair; EJ has been grumbling to him about this for the past ten minutes. 

“No, I want the paint to dry,” EJ mumbles. He does some quick math in his head and decides he’ll just have to stay at a hotel until John is done. “Okay, okay, we can do that.” 

“Great!” John says. They set up a date for him to come by the house once the team gets back to Denver so they can hash out the details, and then EJ fully collapses in his seat. 

“Are you finally remodelling?” Gabe asks him, because EJ has been talking about this with him for months. 

“He says we can’t start until August,” EJ tells him. “Something about humidity and the paint drying,” he adds, at Gabe’s questioning look. 

Gabe nods like that makes sense. He spent the summer working on his own house and he’s the one who gave EJ John’s phone number. “Can you stay there while they’re working?” he asks. 

EJ huffs. He fishes his earbuds out of his pocket and dumps them on the table. “Probably not a good idea,” he grumbles. “I’m just gonna book a hotel.”

“That’s stupid.” Gabe clicks his tongue. “You’ll stay with us,” he decides. 

EJ snorts. “Yeah,” he says, drawing it out, “How about no.”

Gabe pulls back, slightly offended. “What? Why?”

“ _ Because _ ,” EJ just says, in a tone that for sure makes him sound like a five year old.

Gabe squints at him. “Fine, don’t,” he mutters. “It’s my fault for trying to be a good friend.” He actually moves and turns his back to EJ, so dramatic. 

EJ rolls his eyes. “I just don’t want to cramp your style,” he says, which is only half true. Honestly, Gabe and Mel are going through the phase where they’re disgustingly happy, and that’s not for EJ.

“That’s stupid,” Gabe says. He’s turned around now, looking at EJ intently. “I’m the one who offered.”

EJ breathes out. “And I appreciate it,” he says, “But I’ll stick to the hotel.”

Gabe bothers EJ about it a little longer, but gives up when the plane takes off and EJ still hasn’t given in. EJ can tell Gabe is still a little hurt, so he picks up his phone and takes a pic of them for his insta. 

Gabe looks ridiculous as per usual, too serious, and EJ spends a good portion of the flight ragging on him about how it’s okay to have fun sometimes. EJ posts the picture when they land, pairing it with a caption about true friendship and adding a bunch of heart emojis. 

He’s walking to his car when Nate catches up to him, throwing an arm over EJ’s shoulders. “Hey, man.” Nate is grinning as he squeezes the back of EJ’s neck. 

EJ rolls his eyes and ducks away. “ _ Hey, man, _ ” he mimics, and Nate doesn’t even grace it with a response. 

“You should come stay at my place,” he says instead, which — 

“Uhm.” EJ narrows his eyes. “I don’t—”

“Yes you do, come on,” Nate cuts him off. “I have the room, and it’s just me and the dog. And I know you like us,” he says. 

“The dog, yes,” EJ mumbles. “You, eh,” he says.

Nate doesn’t seem discouraged by that at all. “I have a guest room,” he points out, starts walking backwards towards his car like a loser. “Think about it.”

EJ shakes his head. “No room service though,” he calls after him. 

Nate shrugs. He waves at EJ and keeps making his way to his car. 

+

EJ doesn’t really care all that much about room service. He gets enough of it during the season, and anyway, Nate is right. EJ does like his dog (and Nate) and a few weeks in his guest bedroom will be better than wallowing alone in a hotel room. EJ thinks it might be fun, even, and feels something like excitement build up in his stomach.

_ done _ , EJ texts Nate, once he’s thought about all of this. 

He gets back a selfie of Nate and his dog, captioned, _can’t wait_ _!_

+

EJ doesn’t really think about their plans again until he gets a call from Nate at the beginning of August. He thinks that’s kind of weird; he and Nate are close but they usually stick to texting, either actual texts or photos. EJ hasn’t talked to him in a few days though, and now that he actually thinks about it he realizes Nate has been quiet in the group chat as well. 

EJ isn’t quite sure what he’s expecting when he picks up the phone, but the words, “Hey, there’s a problem,” certainly aren’t great to hear. 

“Oh,” he says. 

“I—” Nate tries, cuts himself off, and then there’s the sound of a baby crying. It gets louder, and yes, EJ is sure of it, that is definitely a baby crying their lungs out. “Shh,” Nate says, and, like, EJ is pretty sure that’s not directed at him. 

“Uhm,” he tries, fully uncertain of what’s going on. 

The crying gets louder for a moment before it quiets down, and EJ can make out Nate murmuring something, though he can’t pick out the exact words he’s saying. 

“Yeah, so,” Nate starts again, quieter now, “I have, uhm, kids.”

EJ blinks. “Like, cousins?” he asks. He tries to remember if Nate has ever mentioned cousins or anything like that, but nothing fits the crying newborn category. 

On the other end of the line, Nate chuckles. “More like two daughters.”

That is — most definitely not what EJ was expecting. “Oh,” he says, kind of dumbly. “Okay,” he follows it up with, equally dumb.

“Yeah, so,” Nate fills in the silence, “It’s kind of hectic around here, I just wanted to let you know so you had the time to book a hotel.”

EJ feels like he’s ten steps behind the play, stuck on Nate saying he has actual, real life children, but he listens to Nate now, and he can make out the exhaustion in his voice. EJ pairs that with the crying and decides that _holy_ _fuck_ , Nate has kids. 

“EJ?” Nate asks, bringing EJ out of it, and even that’s strained. 

“Wait,” EJ gets it together enough to say, “When did this happen?”

Nate chuckles and not like there’s anything funny about EJ’s question. “About a year ago,” he says. 

“You’ve had kids for a  _ year _ ?” EJ can’t help it, how he blurts that out. He tries to imagine Nate keeping a secret from the team for a whole, entire year, imagines that secret being his kids and starts to get a headache. 

“Oh my god,” Nate says. Over the line, EJ can make out his exasperation. “No, they were — nevermind. They’re five months old,” he says.

Nate isn’t offering any more information, and EJ is doing his best to understand, but his knowledge of the situation is limited. “So, you and Sarah — ”

“It’s complicated,” Nate cuts him off. He takes a breath and tries to explain, “She — you know she’s in college, and — anyway. My parents came down for a bit.” There’s more shushing and then Nate says, “They left yesterday so it’s still — I’m working on it.” He laughs but he sounds so tired. 

EJ considers this. Nate hadn’t hesitated to offer EJ his place when he needed it, that’s his first thought. Nate sounds like he could use some help now, is his second thought. He says, “I’m booking my ticket,” before the decision is even fully formed in his head. EJ expects to regret it almost immediately, but instead he listens to how Nate is quiet and hopes Nate doesn’t reject his offer. 

“You don’t have to,” Nate just says, after too long. It sounds like a weak objection and EJ isn’t sure if that’s him projecting but he hopes not. 

“Half my stuff is already there,” EJ argues, even though that’s very easily solved. “And you’ll need the help,” he continues, just a little hesitant. 

Nate is quiet for a moment. Then he says, “Okay,” in this resigned tone. 

EJ scrambles for something to keep the conversation going, but then the baby —  _ babies? _ — start crying again, and Nate hastily hangs up so he can take care of them. 

EJ’s first impulse is to text Gabe, but he stops just short of it. Nate hasn’t said anything in the groupchat, and he only told EJ because he was set to move into his place in a week. The entire situation is mind blowing, but EJ doesn’t know how comfortable Nate is with people knowing, if at all, and he doesn’t want to mess up before he even gets to Nate’s. 

Which — EJ knows zero things about taking care of a baby, never mind two of them. He has no clue what he was thinking offering to help. He feels the regret set in then; or, not so much regret as much as legitimate fear. 

EJ half wants to back out, honestly, but he remembers how tired Nate sounded and anyway, a baby is basically a tiny human; surely all 6’4” of EJ can handle a tiny human. Even two of them.

+

As it turns out, Nate looks even more tired than he’d sounded. He opens the door for EJ in a stained shirt with a tiny baby in his arms, and EJ has to go through the shock of realization all over again. His eyes probably grow wide, and his jaw definitely drops because Nate laughs. 

“Yeah, I wasn’t kidding,” he says, and that sounds tired too.

Nate looks terrible, but EJ’s eyes are stuck on the tiny person in Nate’s arms. She looks so small but her eyes are huge, looking up at EJ, and he’s is struck by the sudden urge to reach out and grab her tiny little hand. 

He doesn’t, obviously; they haven’t even properly introduced yet, but then the baby smiles at him and holy shit, EJ feels extremely happy to be on the receiving end of that. 

Nate watches all of this with an amused expression on his face. Finally, he says, “Yeah, my reaction exactly.”

EJ is still too busy smiling extremely widely at the baby so he misses 100 percent of that. “Huh?” he asks. 

Nate chuckles and says, “Get inside, it’s too hot out.”

EJ does, leaves his bags by the door and crouches down to say hello to Nate’s dog who comes over to sniff him. EJ straightens and starts making faces at the baby then. He doesn’t know if it’s because he has a funny looking face or because this baby is just easily amused, but she starts laughing almost right away, and EJ gets to feel really proud of himself. 

“Yeah?” Nate murmurs, “You like that?” His voice is really soft and gentle, and for a moment EJ is curious because he thinks Nate is talking to him, but he soon discovers this is just Nate's baby voice. It’s disconcerting how quickly he goes from thoughtful to endeared.

The baby laughs again, grinning goofily, and EJ is just — “Wow.”

Nate raises both eyebrows at him. “Have you never seen one before?” he asks dryly. 

“Look, it’s a really cute baby,” EJ tries. 

That makes Nate smile. “I know,” he says quietly. 

EJ’s mind is racing with all these questions that he has, but Nate doesn’t seem to be offering anything, so EJ doesn’t want to outright ask. “I don’t know how you were involved in the process of making her,” he says instead, and hopes that will encourage Nate to tell him something. 

Nate doesn’t even huff, which is an indication of how tired he is. “Yeah,” he just says, which answers precisely zero of EJ’s questions. It gives him more, in fact, like  _ what’s her name _ , and  _ what is happening _ . He decides to actually ask the first one.

“Amy,” Nate answers, which sort of improves EJ’s situation. 

EJ looks at Nate again, sees how blissed out he seems looking at Amy, and decides to shelve the rest of his questions for now. He leans down a little instead, until he’s at her level, and says, very seriously, “Hi, Amy, I’m EJ.” 

That makes Amy crack up again, and EJ doesn’t even know her, but he wants to see her smile all the time. It’s a lot. EJ has to clear his throat and step back, trying to act cool. Nate gives him a knowing look like he’s not fooled in the least. 

“What?” EJ tries, faint as it is.

Nate makes a humming sound and starts making his way down the hall. “Come meet Riley,” he says, so EJ follows him to the kitchen where there’s another baby, just as tiny and cute as the first one, her large eyes going straight for EJ’s soft spots.

The baby — Riley — excitedly waves her hands around in her high chair as soon as she sees them, giggling happily. EJ looks at her and wants to squish her chubby little face, but also he’s starting to feel overwhelmed and he’s been in this house for barely ten minutes; he can’t even imagine what it must be like for Nate.

With that in mind EJ nods, decisive. “Okay,” he says, “What do you need me to do?” he asks. 

Nate gives EJ a look. He adjusts Amy on his hip. “I don’t need you to do anything.”  

EJ rephrases. “What do you want me to do?”

Nate sighs really loudly. “I didn’t invite you here so you could help me with them,” he tries. “I’m doing fine.” His voice sounds strained now, not so much tired as annoyed. He’s gearing up for an argument, EJ can tell, so he backtracks. 

“And I didn’t say you weren’t,” he clarifies slowly. “But you look pretty beat,” he continues, gentler now. 

Nate is quiet for a moment. “Gee, thanks,” he says finally, not so much irritated as plain tired.

EJ presses his lips together, thoughtful. He asks, “How long…” and runs out of words, uncertain of how to phrase the rest.

Nate gets it anyway. He shrugs. “Three weeks now.”

EJ has so many more things he wants to ask, but he doesn’t think now is the time to push. He just says, “I’m not gonna leave you alone until you give me something to do,” because there are dark circles under Nate’s eyes and the stain on his shirt is, EJ is pretty sure, puke. 

Nate looks half ready to fight EJ on that, and for a moment he thinks Nate will, but eventually he just sighs. “I was going to feed Riley,” he says, “Can you watch Amy while I do?”

EJ nods, happy to finally have something to do. “Absolutely,” he says. He reaches out to take her and Nate looks at him dubiously. 

“Have you ever held a baby before?” he asks, frowning. 

EJ gives him a look. “What do you think?” he asks. “Of course I have.”

“The babies at the charity events don’t count,” Nate decides.

EJ wants to argue some about that, but Nate is looking at him seriously and EJ guesses he’d have standards too, if this was his kid. “Okay, fine,” he says, “I have held babies, maybe not as small as this one, but I definitely have.”

Nate seems to accept that. He parts with Amy slowly and tells EJ to be careful with supporting her head. It’s funny but it’s not until she’s in EJ’s arm that he worries about dropping her. It’s a terrifying thought, and while EJ doesn’t think she’ll just fall from his arms, he does start breathing slower in attempt to ensure the steadiness of his arms. 

Then Amy looks up at him, and she was looking at him from Nate’s arms too, but she’s closer now, and EJ can’t help how widely he smiles down at her. It’s probably sappy, his smile, and EJ can practically feel the chirp on Nate’s tongue. 

“Shut up,” he tells Nate quietly, without looking away from Amy. She makes a happy noise at the sound of EJ’s voice and EJ shifts her in his arms a little until he’s holding her more securely. 

When EJ finally looks up, Nate is watching him closely, his face set in a serious grimace. EJ suddenly worries he’s doing something wrong. “What?” he asks. 

The questions seems to knock Nate out of it. “Nothing,” he says quickly. He moves to the counter and pours what EJ assumes is baby formula into a bottle. 

Nate moves efficiently, which is beyond EJ. Usually Nate needs supervision to use the grill at team get-togethers, but now he’s a wizard with baby food. EJ thinks back to Nate saying he’s had the kids for three weeks and figures Nate had to learn fast.

“You can sit,” Nate tells him, “You don’t have to hover.”

“Oh,” EJ says. He’s having trouble getting used to the weight in his arms, but then Amy turns and presses her tiny, squishy face into EJ’s chest, and EJ gets used to it real fast. 

He sits down in one of the kitchen chairs and makes funny faces at Amy until she starts laughing again, high-pitched and happy. He has no idea what babies this age find funny but he tries, and Amy’s laugh is kind of contagious, EJ discovers.

He’s smiling pretty widely by the time Nate is done, and happily follows him to the living room. EJ’s not happy to set Amy down in the play area, but Nate assures him he can keep making faces at her from the floor. 

It’s not until EJ is sitting down on the play mat though that he realizes how beat he actually is. He had to get up early to take care of a few last errands before leaving, and the flight wasn’t a long one but there were delays at the airport. He has to stifle a yawn a few minutes in, hoping Nate won’t catch on. 

Nate does, of course. He tells EJ that it’s okay if he wants to take a nap, but EJ is determined. 

“Bedtime is coming up for them anyway,” Nate adds, which sweetens the deal a bit. 

Still, it’s a bit late for a nap, and EJ would rather full-on sleep tonight, so he opts for a shower instead. Nate is still busy with the babies by the time EJ is finished, so he takes his time getting dressed and scrolling through his phone. He texts a bit with Gabe, letting him know that he made it to Denver, which only means he gets to field Gabe’s questions about why he got home so early. 

EJ still isn’t sure who knows what, so he makes up a lie about his contractor needing to go over a few things with him. Though he probably will need to meet up with John sometime this week, so it’s only half a lie, technically. 

He’s scrolling through insta when he hears footsteps down the hall, and tries to look all chill and coincidental coming out of his room. He probably misses by a mile, but Nate just sees him and gestures for him to come downstairs. 

Nate is being quiet, so EJ follows his lead and silently follows him to the living room. Nate collapses on the couch in a pile of limbs, fishing a couple of toys out from underneath him as he sits. EJ watches this with a commiserating frown. 

Nate looks kind of dead, really, so EJ flicks on the TV and lowers the volume way down. Next to him, Nate lets out a deep breath like he’s relieved at not having to talk, so EJ thinks he made a good call. Nate’s dog join them after a moment, jumping up between them and laying his head on EJ’s thigh. EJ moves his hand down to the dog’s head and scratches behind his ears.

They watch TV in silence except for the humming of the baby monitor, and eventually Nate rolls over onto his side and stuffs a pillow under his head. “Are you sure you don’t want to go sleep?” EJ asks him. 

Nate shakes his head. “I’m good,” he says, which is very obviously a lie since he drifts off not long after. 

EJ thinks about snapping a pic of him for insta, but decides against it ultimately. He watches some baseball instead, until his stomach starts protesting and then he makes his way to Nate's kitchen to raid his fridge. 

Unsurprisingly, Nate’s running kind of low on, well, food. EJ figures he probably hasn’t had much time to go grocery shopping in the last few days. He digs through the freezer as well, but it’s just low-fat ice cream which EJ isn’t even going to attempt to tackle. 

He decides to just grab Nate’s keys and head to the store, tiptoeing down the hall so as not to wake him. It doesn’t take him long, but EJ does make sure to grab some things that definitely taste better than low-fat ice cream. 

Nate is awake by the time EJ makes it back, waiting for EJ at the door when he pulls into the driveway. He grabs one of the grocery bags from EJ’s hands and tells him, “I thought they’d scared you off.”

EJ huffs in answer. “I’m  grown-ass man,” he says. “Besides,  _ you  _ haven’t scared me off yet.”

Nate rolls his eyes, not gracing that with a response, but he does tell EJ where everything goes when he starts emptying the bags. He tries to help EJ with dinner, but EJ successfully manages to banish him to a chair and get him to stay there.

EJ’s still feeling pretty tired, so he goes for something simple that doesn’t take long to make, pasta with a semi-homemade meat sauce. Nate sets the table and they eat on the porch. It’s nice out, the air a little cooler than earlier but the sun still out. 

“Thank you,” Nate blurts out, when they’re both nearly done eating.

EJ frowns at him because he didn’t really do much. 

“You really didn’t have to do all of this,” Nate goes on. EJ sits up a little straighter. “I mean, I’m sure a hotel room would be better for you at this point,” Nate says. He’s not looking at EJ, his eyes set on the baby monitor between their plates. EJ takes a moment to decide how to answer that. 

“I can book a hotel if you want me to,” he finally says, though he won’t be happy about it. Nate wouldn't hesitate to help if EJ needed something, and more than that they’re friends; EJ doesn’t really want to leave Nate to the wolves — small and cute as they may be. 

But if Nate doesn’t want EJ here, there’s nothing that EJ can really do about that.

Nate is quiet for moment. “My parents offered to stay for the season,” he says. 

EJ doesn’t know how that fits in with his offer, but he looks at Nate and asks, “You don’t want them to?”

Nate sighs. “I mean, I do,” he says. “I want their help but I don’t —” he cuts himself off, breathes out. When he starts talking again, his voice is quieter. “They’re mine, you know; I want to do this right,” he says, finally. He glances up at EJ like he wants to see if he gets it, and EJ can’t, really, but he tries. 

“Yeah,” he says, “That makes sense,” and Nate gives him a smile like he’s relieved.

He looks away almost immediately after, says, “So, you know, you can stay but I can’t guarantee the crying won’t wake you up in the middle of the night.”

EJ thinks that’s as close a invitation as he’s going to get from Nate right now. He says, “I think I’ll survive,” to which Nate gives him a look like he’s in for a surprise. 

+

The first time, EJ barely registers it. He knows he wakes up because he hears something, but by the time his eyes are open there’s just quiet. It’s easy enough to roll over and go back to sleep. 

The second time, EJ definitely registers a baby crying, loud enough that it makes him get out of bed. He follows the crying to the kitchen, where he finds Nate preparing a bottle one-handed, his other preoccupied with one of the babies. EJ feels a little bad for not being able to tell them apart just yet.

“Hey,” he says for now, which makes Nate jump. 

“Jesus.” He turns around, eyes wide until he registers EJ is there. “Did you tiptoe down the stairs or something?”

EJ ignores that altogether and asks instead, “Do you need any help?”

The baby is still crying, mostly muffled now, but she quiets down once Nate brings the bottle to her mouth. 

“I got it,” Nate says quietly. He’s looking down at the baby, a small smile on his lips, and EJ feels kind of bad for intruding. He feels even worse at the prospect of just going back to bed though, so he pulls out a chair and waits Nate out. 

“You really don’t have to stay,” Nate goes on, without looking away from the baby. 

EJ shrugs. “I’m good,” he says. 

Nate does look up then, giving EJ a look like he can see right through that. EJ vaguely wonders if that comes with having kids because he doesn’t think Nate could do it before. EJ watches Nate put the bottle aside and hold the baby against his chest and wonders how Nate became so good at this already . 

Three weeks isn’t a long time, and EJ’s seen how much new parents struggle from his other teammates. But he watches Nate burp the baby now, and Nate looks incredibly at ease considering it’s about four in the morning and he’s probably been missing a bunch of sleep lately. 

EJ startles when the baby monitor sounds, more crying coming from upstairs. He notices it then, the exhaustion in the way Nate moves, in the three seconds his eyes stay shut. 

“Give Riley to me,” EJ says, taking a gamble with the name and hoping it will fool Nate. 

Nate looks at him and smiles, a crooked thing. “You totally can’t tell them apart, can you?” he asks, and EJ decides that it  _ is  _ a new thing, how Nate seems to be seeing straight through all of EJ’s bullshit. 

EJ rolls his eyes and gets up. “Just go,” he says. 

Nate looks like he’d like to chirp EJ some more about this, but another screeching cry comes from the baby monitor and he winces. He carefully hands the baby over to EJ and tells him to hold her upright and that she might drool on him. 

“Don’t panic if she does,” he says. EJ rolls his eyes really hard. Tyson once legitimately puked on EJ, back when he was still trying to prove he could handle booze, so EJ is not about to get squeamish from a bit of baby spit.

Nate watches EJ with the baby for a moment, and when he seems satisfied with the way EJ is handling her he finally leaves for the bedroom. EJ sits back down and can’t help pressing his nose into the baby’s hair for a moment, breathing her in. She reaches out and spreads her tiny hand on EJ’s chest, and EJ’s heart legitimately flutters. 

He starts murmuring quiet nonsense at her and her breathing slows down, enough so that EJ thinks she might be starting to fall asleep on him. The thought makes his stomach curl happily and he adjusts her a bit higher on his chest. 

The muffled crying from upstairs starts to gradually get louder before it quiets completely, and EJ can make out the sound of Nate coming down the stairs. EJ’s heart beats really loudly; he hopes the noise doesn’t wake the baby up. 

A moment later Nate reappears, smiling as he takes them in. EJ feels oddly defensive about it, but he doesn’t want to make any noise so he doesn’t protest. Instead, he watches as Nate prepares another bottle and gets to feeding — EJ thinks it’s Amy. Her face is less squishy, her cheeks less puffy, and EJ feels disproportionately proud for recognizing her. 

“Do you want to take Riley upstairs?” Nate asks him, once he’s started feeding Amy. 

EJ’s spent his life walking up and down flights of stairs, but suddenly the prospect of doing so with an extremely fragile baby in his arms feels terrifying. Maybe Nate can tell. He smiles and nudges EJ’s foot with his own. “You’ll be fine,” he says. 

EJ can see this is Nate trusting him and Nate has been doing this for three weeks successfully, he must know something more than EJ. EJ makes himself get up, shushing Riley when she makes a mumbling sound, and makes his way up the stairs with extremely slow steps. 

The door to Nate’s room is already open when EJ makes it upstairs, the light on, so EJ only has to put Riley in the crib. She makes this sound when he pulls her away from his chest like she’s disappointed, and EJ thinks that’s the highlight of his day, to be honest. 

He watches her sleep for a moment, until he hears Nate’s steps on the stairs and moves to pull the door open a little wider for him. Nate lays Amy down in the other crib, flicking on the baby mobile above her. Amy laughs happily as it starts to move, which EJ figures is his cue to leave. 

“Hey,” Nate says, before EJ’s had a chance to move. “Thank you,” he continues, and it’s quiet, obviously, but earnest enough that it makes EJ feel kind of awkward just standing there. 

“It’s no problem,” he says lamely. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Nate whispers after him. He’s looking down at the babies, so EJ shuts the door behind him and makes his way to his bedroom. 

+

The babies don’t wake up again that night, so EJ doesn’t feel particularly tired when he wakes up. Nate doesn’t seem to be either; EJ finds him in the kitchen making eggs once he gets downstairs, and he looks miles better than he did yesterday — the circles under his eyes aren’t gone, but at least his t-shirt is clean.

Nate has the girls sitting in the two high chairs while he makes breakfast, and EJ says good morning to them first because he’s got priorities. They both look happy to see him, blabbering gibberish when EJ makes faces at them, bright and excited. 

Nate is watching him, when EJ straightens, which makes EJ oddly uncomfortable, like he got caught red handed. “What?” he asks, too defensive.

Nate raises his left hand and then the spatula in the right, but he’s still looking at EJ with an inscrutable expression on his face. 

EJ wants to ask Nate if he wants some funny faces, too, before Nate abruptly flushes, this deep, red thing that colors his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. EJ has no idea what that’s about, and he doesn’t get a chance to ask either.

“Do you want eggs?” Nate blurts out. His voice is kind of high, which EJ tries to decypher for all of two seconds before giving up. 

“Yes,” he says, taking a seat at the table. “Thank you.”

They eat together, but Nate loks lost in thought and not in a pleasant way, so EJ raises his phone and snaps a pic of Nate trying to avoid the camera. It comes out pretty hilarious, honestly. 

“Hey!” Nate says, reaching to try and grab the phone out of EJ’s hand. 

EJ’s quick though. He moves out of Nate’s reach and sends the pic to Gabe, captioning it,  _ he made me eggs _ . “Calm down, it’s just for Gabe,” he says to Nate, which seems to appease him. 

Gabe sends back, _ i’d make you eggs too _ , so EJ figures Gabe is still kind of bitter. 

He laughs under his breath and types,  _ you’re not even in denver _ , before putting his phone away.

“How’s Gabe doing?” Nate asks. He moves to clear up so EJ starts helping him. 

“Living his best life,” EJ says. “He keeps sending me shirtless progress pics.”

Nate laughs at that. “Of course.” 

EJ waits a moment, then asks, “Have you told him?”

Nate is quiet. “Just Tyson,” he says, “I needed someone to freak out with, you know.”

EJ nods. He treads carefully because this is uncharted territory. “Of course.” There’s a pause again, just Nate rinsing the plates before putting them in the dishwasher. “I should, probably,” he says.

EJ brings the glasses to the sink and leans against the counter. “I mean, he’s gonna know sooner or later,” he says, “All the guys will.” He pauses. “Unless you’re planning to keep the kids a secret?” EJ tries. 

Nate cracks a smile at that, though weak. “Nah,” he says. “I just don’t even know how to start,” he admits. “Like, ‘hi I have kids now?’” 

Honestly, EJ has no clue. He wishes he did, because Nate looks kind of scared. “That’s not a bad place to start,” he says. “Maybe send him a pic too? A cute one so he’s distracted and doesn’t ask too many questions.”

That makes Nate laugh, just a little, which EJ considers a personal victory. He bumps their shoulders together and follows Nate’s gaze out the window and to the backyard, to the dog lounging happily on the sunny porch. It’s a wonderful day, EJ thinks, sunny and not too hot. Then he looks back at Amy and Riley happily playing with their little baby toys and blurts out, “Do you have a stroller?”

It takes Nate all of two seconds to catch up. His face brightens and he nods, tells EJ to stay put while he brings it in from the garage. The stroller turns out to be pretty big, so Nate just brings it onto the porch and has EJ stay with the babies while he prepares a bag to take with them. Nate starts to look more anxious the more stuff that he adds, so EJ suggests they just take a stroll around the block and take it from there. 

“Right.” Nate nods, but he adds a couple of toys to the bag — “Just in case,” he says. 

EJ doesn’t roll his eyes, if only because he remembers how nervous he was last night when he had to walk up the stairs with Riley in his arms. 

Once everything is prepared to Nate’s standards, he and EJ strap the twins in. Amy babbles excitedly when EJ picks her up, and one of her little hands comes up and hits EJ in the chin. EJ laughs and takes her hand in his, smiling wider when her tiny fingers wrap around his thumb.

EJ feels a little sad to part with her, but he reasons that he can’t just carry her around all day; babies need to learn independence, probably. Also, she’ll literally be a step away. 

Nate makes sure the sun covers are down before he starts pushing the stroller, and EJ is happy to tag along beside him. The babies seem to enjoy the fresh air, making happy sounds as Nate pushes them down the sidewalk, and it seems to do wonders for Nate. His shoulders loosen and he seems to breathe easier the longer they stay outside. 

The four of them manage to take four laps around the block before Riley starts getting fussy and Nate proclaims they should get back. He has to pick her up and hold her for the last few steps to the house, but it only seems to quiet her for a moment before she starts crying. 

“They are due for their nap,” Nate explains. He and EJ take the babies upstairs and then EJ leaves Nate to go through the rest of their routine. 

Nate is still smiling when he walks into the living room, collapsing onto the couch with a sigh. “I think I needed that,” he says. 

EJ frowns. “How long has it been since you last left the house?”

“I’ve been on the porch,” Nate argues, but it’s half-hearted. A moment passes and he says, “Sarah came over three weeks ago so. Three weeks.” His voice is kind of quiet, subdued, and his eyes focus on the TV in front of them them even though it’s not turned on. 

EJ considers this, thinks he can even pull off staying silent for a moment, and then he blurts out, “I thought you and Sarah broke up, like, last summer?” which ruins the illusion EJ had going for himself. 

Nate shrugs. “We did,” he says. “Last August.”

EJ tries to how he should phrase his next question when Nate beats him to it.

“I only found out when she called me three weeks ago,” he says. “I mean, I had no idea. Which sounds pretty stupid in retrospect.” Nate leans forward and runs a hand through his hair. 

“But I’ve always —” Nate tries. “I’ve always — I mean, maybe not so soon, but I wouldn’t change a thing,” he finishes. 

EJ can hear the emotion in his voice, and he gets it, at least a small part of it. He’s only been here a couple days and he lost it when Amy grabbed onto his finger earlier; he can only imagine what it’s like for Nate. 

EJ doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say now. There’s obviously a lot Nate isn’t telling him, but EJ doesn’t quite have the burning desire to know anymore. What Nate already said explains a lot, and the rest is just EJ being nosy. 

EJ looks at Nate and puts a hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing a great job,” he tells him.

Nate huffs like he’s not convinced of that. He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but seems to change his mind. “Thanks,” he says instead, but even that is dubious. 

+

EJ has to head home in the afternoon to meet with John and check the paint swatches for the kitchen. He wants to ask Nate if it’s okay for him to go, but he also feels like that might be a bit much; Nate has been doing okay so far, he doesn’t need EJ’s constant meddling or supervision. 

EJ does ask Nate if he needs anything from the store though, to which Nate responds with an extremely specific list of baby things. He even makes EJ take photos of the diaper packaging to ensure that EJ won’t mess it up. EJ rolls his eyes but obediently snaps a photo of it, as well as the baby shampoo. 

Nate observes the whole process with a watchful eye and asks EJ to make sure he’s got the list before he leaves the house. 

“Seriously, I’m not gonna screw it up, chill,” EJ tells him, patience wearing thin. 

“I didn’t say you were,” Nate argues quickly. “I’m just making sure everything goes smoothly.”

EJ rolls his eyes at that and shuts the door behind himself. 

+

The meeting with John goes by easily. EJ had already chosen three colors for the kitchen, and after seeing the swatches next to the new tiles he feels pretty confident going with the soft grey one. John suggests they add a darker grey to one of the walls, which sounds good to EJ, so he agrees and leaves John to work on it.

It’s the store after that, which proves to be extremely more time-consuming than the paint selection for EJ’s kitchen was. Even with the photos and Nate’s thorough list, it takes EJ ages to find everything, though in his defense he usually bypasses the baby aisles. 

Nate is on the living room floor surrounded by boxes when EJ manages to get back. He’s sitting on top of the baby mat and sifting through tiny baby clothes, a soft smile on his face. The twins are there too, Amy lying under a baby gym and Riley on her back fiddling with a colorful, soft book. 

EJ finds himself smiling; then Nate pulls a giant-ass stuffed rhino out of one of the boxes and EJ balks at the sheer size of it. “What’s all this?” he can’t help asking, after he’s set the bags down.

“Tyson,” Nate just says, like that explains the rhino that’s bigger than the twins combined, which — it sort of does. 

“He sent all this?” EJ asks, gesturing to the rest of the boxes. He counts four, though one was fully overtaken by the rhino. 

“Yeah.” Nate smiles. “I think he started it as a joke but now he’s like, invested,” he says, “He googles five month old safe toys and just buys everything.”

EJ nods. “That sure is a plan,” he says. 

Nate shrugs. He grabs another box and starts pulling out more stuffed toys, a bit smaller in size. “Anyway,” he says, “Did you get everything?” and honestly EJ wonders how he managed to hold off for this long. 

“Yes,” EJ says, rolling his eyes. He takes the bag with the baby food to the kitchen and washes his hands before coming back to join Nate and the twins on the baby mat. 

EJ doesn’t want to sound full of it, but Riley’s eyes do light up once she sees him. He reaches out to say hello and her little hand comes and grabs onto his index finger like with Amy earlier. EJ lets her move it around for as long as she’ll have it, and then starts to tickle her foot softly until she starts to laugh. 

He’s is so focused on her that he doesn’t even realize Nate is looking at him until Amy makes a huffy sound. It makes EJ look up, finding Nate with his eyes already set on EJ. His face is red again, just a bit, but mostly he looks happy. 

EJ shrugs and moves his attention back to Riley’s foot. Riley tolerates him for a little longer before she starts to get huffy, so EJ leaves her alone and goes to fiddle with Amy’s toys. Amy laughs, reaching out to try and touch them. She seems happy, which makes EJ happy. ho knew playing with a baby would be so fun?

Nate announces it’s bedtime not long after, however, which means EJ regretfully has to leave Amy alone. He still asks Nate if he needs for EJ to do anything. He has no particular expectation since Nate doesn’t generally seem willing to accept help, so he’s a little surprised when Nate asks him to feed Riley. 

“Oh,” EJ says, but he rushes to get to his feet. He picks Riley up carefully and holds her against his chest before following Nate to the kitchen. 

Somehow Nate manages to prepare two bottles with Amy still on his hip. He checks the temperature on both and hands one to EJ. Nate shows EJ how to tilt the bottle properly before EJ has the chance to freak out over it, which is good thing since EJ has never done this before. 

It turns out to be pretty straightforward. Riley latches onto the bottle easily, gulping it down quickly. EJ can see some of Nate’s hockey player genes already at work, he thinks, and laughs to himself. 

“Wow,” Nate says at some point. He sounds impressed.

EJ glances away from Riley for a moment. “Hm?” 

“She’s usually more difficult than that,” Nate explains. 

EJ grins. He’s feeling pretty happy with himself right about now. “I am a natural at this,” he says. 

Nate rolls his eyes but doesn’t refute it.

+

EJ wakes up again that night, though he registers Nate’s footsteps first before the actual crying. Still, he’s throwing the covers off before he even realizes it, walking to the kitchen almost blindly. 

Nate looks surprised to see him, and then he says, “Fuck,” under his breath. “I was hoping you wouldn't wake up this time.”

Nate has Amy against his chest as he’s heating up some water for the formula, and Riley is in the high chair by the table. He looks like he’s got everything under control, basically, and it’s funny but EJ feels kind of ridiculous now for getting out of bed. 

EJ starts to feel kind of awkward just standing there, but he thinks it’d be worse if he turned around and went back to bed. He chuckles, kind of stilted, and asks, “Should I leave?”

Nate looks at him like EJ’s grown two heads. “What? No,” he says, and EJ is surprisingly relieved. “I just feel kind of bad that you’re a guest here and can’t even sleep through the night,” Nate admits. He sounds kind of guilty, EJ thinks, which is beyond him. 

“It’s fine,” EJ says easily. He feels a little bit off balance, so it’s a relief when Nate asks if he can help with Riley. 

“If one starts to cry then the other one wakes up and it’s a mess,” he explains. 

EJ nods, but he’s got Riley in his arms now, her hand fisted in his t-shirt, and it’s difficult to pay attention to much else. He does hear Nate laugh at him though, which, whatever, it’s not EJ’s fault that Nate's kids are so cute. He just says, “Shut up,” and makes sure the bottle is tilted properly. 

+

EJ doesn’t get that awkward feeling again, mostly because Nate seems that much more willing to ask for his help with things now. It’s nothing big, mostly shopping lists — because Nate is still too nervous to leave the kids with anyone that isn’t him —  and feeding them; but EJ is more than happy to help. 

They sort of settle into a routine, even with two babies. EJ gets so used to it that Gabe’s coming back to Denver pretty much sneaks up on him. Gabe sends him a pic of him at the airport and EJ almost texts,  _ where to now _ , before he realizes that Gabe is in fact coming here. 

He erases his message and types up something about them meeting up instead. Gabe’s coming in late at night, but he says he’ll meet EJ the next morning. EJ feels kind of guilty for leaving Nate alone with the twins, even though Nate was alone before EJ got here, but Nate assures him that it’s not a problem. 

“Go,” he says, practically pushihing EJ out the door. “I’ve kept you caged in here for long enough.”

EJ huffs. He’s here by choice, and he doesn’t want Nate to feel guilty, so he says as much to him.  

Nate’s face softens. He’s been looking less tired lately. “I know,” he says, “But you still have a life.”

Nate’s words throw EJ off guard, enough that he doesn’t have anything to say. 

“Now go, say hello from me,” Nate says again. The baby monitor goes off then, which signals the end of it. 

+

Gabe looks good, buff and tan, and EJ takes the opportunity to make fun of him for his tight shorts. “They’re shorts, Gabe,” he tells him, “They’re supposed to be loose.”

Gabe just grins. “You wish you had the legs to pull this off, buddy,” he says. 

EJ raises one eyebrow in his direction. Gabe tries to keep a straight face but breaks down not two seconds later. He moves in to hug EJ, and EJ easily wraps his arms around him and admits that it feels kind of good to see him. 

They head into the restaurant and start catching up, but they’ve been texting back and forth all summer so there’s not that much to say. They talk about the team, EJ trying very hard not to sound too excited and Gabe not even bothering with that. 

Surprisingly, Gabe manges to hold off until their food has gotten to the table before he asks EJ about living with Nate. “How’s the roommate situation?” he asks with a pointed look. 

EJ huffs. “I can’t believe you’re still on that,” he says, “You weren’t even here when I flew back.”

“I would have given you my keys,” Gabe suggests. 

EJ presses his lips together and decides to bypass Gabe’s mood altogether. “It’s been going good,” he says. It’s felt more than a little unnatural to lie to Gabe — even by omission — and the feeling is even more pronounced now that they’re sitting face to face. EJ finds himself wanting to tell Gabe so much about Amy and Riley, and just barely manages to hold his tongue. 

“ _ Good _ ?” Gabe parrots. “That’s it?”

EJ smiles with all of his teeth and says, “Aw, don’t worry, you’re still my best friend.”

Gabe kicks him under the table.

+

Nate is watching TV with the volume turned way down when EJ makes it back. He hangs his head upside down over the back of the couch when he hears EJ come in and smiles. “Hey.”

“Hey.” EJ lies down on the couch and props his feet up.

“How was it?” Nate asks. 

“It was good. Gabe’s always fun.” EJ shrugs. “He’s still bitter about me choosing you over him.”

Nate snorts. He puts the TV on mute and mutters, “Bet you’re regretting that a lot by now.”

“Uhm,” EJ tries. “No?”

That must surprise Nate because he turns to meet EJ’s eyes, a perplexed look on his face. “Oh,” he says finally, after too long of a silence.

EJ doesn’t like how awkward this got, so he nudges Nate’s thigh with his toe but, like, in a mature way. Nate scowls and tries to move away. He tells EJ to cut it out when he does it again, though he doesn’t look too bothered. 

Eventually Nate gets tired of EJ’s antics and grabs his ankle, holding his leg in place. His fingers around EJ’s ankle are strong, stronger than EJ thought, and warm, too. EJ looks at them and feels his stomach curl a little with something he can’t quite put a name to. 

“Anyway,” Nate says. “I texted him.”

“Texted who?” EJ asks. His throat feels dry and he swallows. 

“Gabe,” Nate says. “We’re meeting up tomorrow.” His thumb moves, rubbing a small circle around EJ’s ankle. EJ shivers. He pulls his foot out of Nate’s reach, and Nate just puts his hand back over the back of the couch like nothing happened. 

EJ feels off balance. He asks, “Are you gonna tell him?” and is surprised by how steady it comes out. 

Nate nods. He’s looking at the TV now even though it’s on mute. “And then the rest of the guys,” he says. He opens his mouth to keep going but closes it again. EJ waits him out until Nate admits, “I’m kind of nervous actually.”

“What do you mean?” EJ asks. 

Nate breathes out, heavy. “I mean,” he starts, “What if they’re, like… judgy?”

“Who’s gonna be judgy?” EJ snorts. “Kerfy and Josty? They don’t even own a dining table.”

It makes Nate laugh, a short, surprised thing. “Okay, maybe not them, but.”

EJ sits up on his elbows, waits for Nate to look at him. “They’re not gonna be judgy,” he says. “And if they are,” EJ goes on, because he sees Nate open his mouth, “You’re doing a good job.”

That seems to shock Nate into shutting up, weirdly. His lips even stretch into a smile and EJ feels unreasonably happy about putting it there. He has to throw a pillow in Nate’s face to combat it. 

+

EJ doesn’t fully understand what Nate leaving the house entails until Nate starts showing EJ how to make a bottle. And, like, EJ is happy to know, but it doesn’t hit him until a few minutes into it that he’ll actually need this knowledge since Nate is preparing to leave EJ alone with the babies. 

It’s tough not to panic at the realization, and EJ isn’t even sure he succeeds. He tries to keep it together but ends up blurting out, “Where will you be?” in a strangely high pitched voice. 

Nate turns to look at him, completely calm. “I’ll be with Gabe,” he explains. 

It clicks for EJ then that he’s supposed to be fully in charge of two tiny babies for however long Nate stays out. “Oh no,” he says. 

Nate rolls his eyes. “You’ll be fine,” he says easily. “You can call me whenever and they’re asleep. They might not even wake up until I’m back.”

That does little to comfort EJ. His heart is beating really fast, because what if something happens?

“You’ll be fine,” Nate says again, softer this time. He sounds — he sounds like he trusts EJ, and EJ obviously thought Nate did, but it’s different to just see it outright. 

The thought eats at the edges of EJ’s panic and calms him down, strangely. It’s a big responsibility, EJ knows, but Nate trusts him with it and that’s even bigger. 

“Okay.” EJ nods. He’s still freaking out a bit on the inside, but it’s muted now, and he can actually focus on Nate and what he’s trying to show EJ. 

The two of them go over the bottle process one more time, and Nate gives EJ some more tips about getting the babies to go back to sleep easily. EJ’s feeling marginally more confident by the time Nate’s set to leave and even like he might have a shot at surviving this. 

“Good luck,” Nate tells him right before he leaves, and that’s not ominous at all, thanks Nate.

+

It’s strange, but after the door closes and EJ’s all by himself in Nate’s quiet house he starts to feel kind of lonely. It doesn’t start right away, but the feeling is definitely there after EJ has exhausted his options of keeping himself preoccupied, like watching TV and making himself dinner.

EJ thinks that’s probably a sign that he’s spent too much time with Nate and his kids, but weirdly enough he doesn’t feel motivated to change that. Still, he feels almost glad to have something to do when he hears the crying from the baby monitor.

EJ can’t tell them apart by crying — he isn’t even sure if Nate can — but he sees it’s Amy this time when he gets to Nate’s room. EJ picks her up gently and holds her for a bit, trying to get her to calm down like Nate told him. 

When that doesn’t work he takes Amy downstairs and put her in the high chair while he starts to fix her a bottle. EJ’s definitely not as fast as Nate is with it, but he gets the temperature right and he thinks the consistency too, so he’s feeling pretty good about himself. 

He’s feeding her in the living room when he hears Nate let himself in. Nate’s face softens as he takes in Amy and EJ, a smile spreading across his face. EJ meets his eyes and has to look away, his face suddenly warm. 

Nate doesn’t seem to notice. “How did you do?” he asks. He's careful not to jostle Amy as he sits down next to them. 

“It was okay,” EJ says. His voice is quiet and he can hear Amy’s snuffling and swallowing as she eats.

“They were good for you?” Nate murmurs. He’s looking at Amy, mostly, but he glances up at EJ too. 

“Yeah, she just woke up a few minutes ago,” EJ says. He hands the bottle to Nate once Amy is done eating and shifts her until her head is resting on EJ’s shoulder. 

Nate is watching them, when EJ looks up again, another one of those looks on his face. EJ has been catching him do it more and more lately, and he’s not sure how to decrypt them. He asks, “What?” now without really expecting much of an answer.

“Nothing,” Nate says quickly. “You’re just really good with them,” he adds after a moment. 

If possible, that makes EJ’s stomach even tighter. He feels proud, he thinks, and pleased with himself. He tries to come up with something to say in response but comes up empty.

“I told Gabe,” Nate says, saving EJ from uttering something stupid, most likely. 

“Oh?” EJ’s itching to know, he’s not going to lie, but Nate looks loose and happy, which makes EJ think it went well. 

“Yeah, he…” Nate trails off, shaking his head. “He was really excited,” he says. “Wouldn't shut up about pictures until I showed him a bunch.”

That sounds like Gabe, EJ thinks. He doesn't say  _ I told you so  _ but it’s a close thing. By the look on Nate’s face, he knows it too. 

“Also he told me the guys would love it too,” Nate goes on. Again, no  _ I told you so  _ from EJ, but it’s extremely difficult for him. 

“That’s great,” EJ says instead. On his shoulder, Amy burps. EJ rubs her back and moves her back down. Her eyes are already slipping shut, so EJ figures that’s his cue. 

He starts to get up but Nate stops him. He has his phone out and he asks EJ if it’s okay to take a picture for the groupchat. EJ shrugs, but he makes a stupid face at the camera when Nate snaps the picture. 

EJ’s phone is buzzing when he comes back out of Nate’s room after settling Amy in bed. Nate sent the picture, and under it the guys are arguing about where EJ managed to find a baby and whose is it. EJ rolls his eyes at some of the ideas being pitched, and then he sees Gabe typing. He sends,  _ with a nose like that it’s def Nate’s _ , which, Amy has a small, squishy nose, but EJ guesses that’s not the point. 

The guys start arguing about the nose then, until Tyson says,  _ ya that face looks exactly like Nate from his rookie year _ with a baby emoji. EJ snorts at that. Mikko asks,  _ did you get married Nate _ , which prompts a whole other debate about marrying versus having kids and in the end EJ isn’t even sure if they’ve all come to the same conclusion.

Nate looks loose, though, for the rest of the night. He even lets EJ pick what they’re watching and doesn’t complain when EJ settles on a romcom. He does call EJ soft, at some point, but EJ’s feeling gracious enough to overlook that. 

They end up on opposite ends of the couch, EJ’s feet wedged under Nate’s thighs until Nate moves them to his lap instead. Nate leaves his hand on EJ’s ankle, and it’s the same as last time, too warm and making EJ’s skin itch. 

It’s bad enough that EJ can’t even focus on the movie at first, but Nate doesn’t seem to notice anything or be bothered whatsoever, so EJ figures all the weirdness is in his mind. He doesn’t move his feet, but he jumps when he feels Nate’s thumb start to move, rubbing slow circles on EJ’s ankle bone. 

It feels intimate, the whole thing, and it’s a wonder how EJ manages to make it through the movie. His skin still feels warm by the time he makes it to bed, and he thinks he can still feel Nate’s ghost touch on him. 

+

The groupchat hasn’t quieted down at all by the next morning, and it’s bad enough that Nate has to basically spell out that the baby is his, and that there are actually two babies, and  _ yes you guys will meet them _ . 

EJ is on the living room floor with Amy and Riley laughing at the whole thing and screencapping their teammates’ responses for future reference. He’s typing up something about the birds and the bees to Josty’s question about  _ how _ when Nate comes out of the kitchen, asking EJ if he can look after the babies while he takes a shower. 

EJ nods without really thinking about it, thenglances up and sees Nate is in fact shirtless. Nate’s actually got a towel draped over his shoulder, but his arms are very much there — there and extremely buff — and it’s not as if EJ’s blind to Nate’s body, but this time it feels different. 

EJ thinks he might stare for just a moment before he manages to catch himself. Nate, thankfully, doesn’t seem to notice. He just says, “Thanks,” and turns around to head upstairs. 

EJ — his face just feels warm. He thinks about Nate’s hand on his ankle last night and the other day, and forgets completely about the text he was typing. He thinks about Nate’s arms, too, and his face when he smiles, and how good he is with Riley and Amy. 

EJ thinks about all those things and realizes he’s an idiot. 

+

So. This is a thing on EJ’s mind now. Or, it’s not on his mind, but it’s in the back of his mind. In any case, EJ gets to deal with Nate's attractiveness, which isn’t ideal, but ultimately EJ’s lived through worse and so he’ll survive this as well.

It gets kind of annoying when EJ walks into Nate post-workout and gets to see him sweaty on top of being attractive, or when EJ comes into the kitchen to find Nate making eggs in sweatpants and nothing else. It’s even worse when Nate is listening to some rap that EJ doesn’t understand and “dancing” along with the beat, dorky on top of attractive.

He does start to get a little worried when Tyson flies back to Denver and demands Nate introduce him to the babies. He uses those exact words too — EJ overhears them while he and Nate are facetiming and can’t help snorting. 

“Was that EJ? Did he laugh at me?” he asks. “Tell him to not laugh at me, I’ve been deprived quality time with my nieces.”

EJ rolls his eyes very quietly. 

“He’s not laughing at you,” Nate tells Tyson. He takes the time to shoot EJ a dirty look, but it’s not EJ’s fault that Tyson makes it so easy. “But you can meet them whenever,” Nate goes on. He then tells Tyson to make sure to get here early and Tyson promises to hurry through baggage claim and come straight to Nate’s before the babies’ bedtime. 

EJ has to meet with John anyway, but he makes sure to leave a few minutes before Tyson gets there, both because he’s paranoid about Tyson catching on to EJ’s new feelings, but also because he and Nate deserve some time just the two of them. 

The meeting with John turns out to take more time than EJ had assumed. John shows him around the renovated and repainted kitchen, which EJ ends up loving, but then they have to go through the paint swatch process for the entire downstairs floor as well. By the end of it EJ’s feeling dizzy and glad to be away from his own house. 

When he gets back to Nate’s, EJ finds him and Tyson on the back porch, two pizza boxes between them. They’re drinking lemonade, which EJ has questions about, and have apparently saved him some pizza. 

“Nate insisted,” Tyson admits. He sounds kind of disappointed but whatever, EJ’s hungry so he’ll eat the pizza. 

“How did the meeting go?” Nate asks him. He reaches for one of the pizza boxes and holds it out to EJ.

EJ drags a chair closer to Nate and Tyson and takes the pizza, wolfing it down happily. “It went okay. The kitchen turned out great,” he gets out between bites. He hands his phone to Nate so he and Tyson can look at the photos EJ took of it. 

“Are you doing the bedrooms too?” Tyson asks. 

“Yeah, I wanna do the whole thing.” EJ nods. 

Tyson asks him a few more technical questions before deciding he wants John’s phone number. “I think I want to do the guest rooms,” he explains. “When will it be done?” Tyson asks. 

EJ swallows his pizza and glances at Nate, but he’s still looking at picture of EJ’s kitchen. “Uhm,” he says, “Not for a few more weeks at least.” 

Nate doesn’t react to that either, except to smile down at EJ’s phone. EJ leans over to see what he’s looking at and sees a photo he took this morning of Nate and Riley while Nate was feeding her. It’s a cute photo, and EJ feels his face heat up for no particular reason. 

Tyson leans over too, after a moment, which prompts EJ to snatch his phone away like he’s been caught. It’s too late anyway, Tyson sees it and coos. EJ rolls his eyes and tells him to shut up. 

“It’s a good picture!” Tyson argues. He mutters something about EJ bullying him all the time so EJ grins at him with his mouth full of pizza. “You’re horrible,” Tyson tells him very seriously. 

“Embrace it,” EJ tells him. He continues eating his pizza, but the baby monitor goes off while he’s mid-chew. EJ turns to look at Nate, already getting up, but offers to get it instead. 

“Nah, you just came in, it’s cool,” Nate tells him easily. He heads inside the house before EJ can argue further, and a few seconds later the crying from the monitor has quieted down. 

EJ sits back and sees Tyson watching him closely, close enough that EJ starts to feel uncomfortable. “What?” he asks, a bit abrupt. 

Tyson shrugs. “Nothing,” he says, “You were just really in sync.”

That makes EJ feel proud and like he’s doing something right, which might be a weird thought to have. In any case, EJ is too tried to look at it too closely at the moment, so he just shrugs. 

The two of them talk a bit more about the changes Tyson wants to make to his house, which is a safer subject, and then gush about Amy and Riley, which is not as safe but much happier. 

“It was good thinking,” Tyson tells him, out of nowhere. 

EJ turns to look at him, confused. “What was?”

Tyson huffs impatiently. “Coming down here for Nate,” he says. “I’m kind of bummed I didn’t do it myself,” he admits. 

EJ’s been having all these weird feelings lately, so Tyson’s approval makes him feel more than a little happy. He wants to brush it off with a joke but what he ends up saying instead is, “He sounded exhausted.”

Tyson nods. “Yeah,” he says. He shakes his head. “I’m surprised he let you help though.” Tyson sounds thoughtful and he’s looking at EJ, and EJ definitely doesn’t like that combination. 

He grins. “Are you jealous?” 

Tyson rolls his eyes. “You always do this,” he complains. “We’re in the middle of a serious conversation and you go and ruin it.”

EJ tries to look innocent. “It’s one of my gifts, what can I say?” 

Tyson rolls his eyes and makes EJ show him more pictures of the twins.

+   
Nate is…grumpy the next day, for lack of a better word. He gets kind of snappy at EJ when EJ asks him if he wants to take a walk, and keeps whining about the most random things, like the weather and his broken microwave button. And like, it’s summer, so EJ isn’t sure what Nate is expecting weather wise, and also the microwave button has been broken for a few months now and Nate hasn’t bothered to get it replaced. 

EJ obviously keeps his thoughts on the matter to himself, but eventually his impatience gets the better of him and he tells Nate to cut it out. Nate huffs and does go to take a walk at that point. 

EJ feels a bit guilty for kicking him out of his own house, technically, but Nate is back not ten minutes later, sweaty and even grumpier. “It’s too humid out,” he grumbles. He goes upstairs to take a shower without waiting for EJ’s response.

EJ’s chopping up some mushrooms to throw in with the chicken when Nate comes back. He looks distinctly better, and EJ doesn’t want to notice that but he does. 

Nate watches EJ cook for a few minutes before he starts setting the table — inside tonight because EJ hasn’t complained about the weather but it’s been an extremely warm day. They’ve both sat down and started eating when Nate blurts out, “I’m sorry.”

EJ wants to be a dick and say something like,  _ excuse me, didn’t catch that _ . The non-dick part of himself wins out though, and he settles for gently kicking Nate’s shin under the table. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. 

Nate nods. He’s quiet for a moment but he looks like he might want to say something, mouth opening and closing every few seconds, so EJ waits him out. “I just…training camp is coming up,” he says eventually. 

Training camp has been coming up this time of the year for the past few seasons, EJ doesn’t get why this is such a revelation. “Okay,” he says, drawing it out. 

Nate huffs. “The babies, they’ll — they’ll need someone to take care of them,” Nate explains.

EJ suddenly feels extremely stupid. He hadn’t even thought about that. He’d been so caught up in the day-to-day tasks of taking care of them that his mind hadn’t even thought that far ahead. “Oh,” he says, and the feeling of extreme stupidity hasn’t left him. 

“Yeah, I…” Nate trails off. “I don’t want my mom to come down here, you know,” he says. Nate shrugs. “But I don’t think I can trust a stranger.” He takes a breath, lets it out. “But there’s not much else I can do.” Nate seems to be talking with himself for the time being, and EJ is happy to be a sounding board for him. “Also, where would I even find a nanny?”

Nate stops there, which EJ feels like is his cue. “Could ask Z,” he suggests. “Or any of the other guys with kids.”  

“I guess,” Nate says. “It’s the stranger thing that’s really bugging me.”

EJ isn’t sure if Nate is asking for his input or not, but he’s never been great at keeping his mouth shut. “I mean, they wouldn't have to start full time right away, and you wouldn't have to leave them alone with the kids right away either,” he says. 

Nate just nods at that. He’s quiet for a moment, considering everything, EJ assumes. “Also,” he says, “What do I even ask?” 

EJ draws a blank there. “You could make a list?” he says. “And I could help.”

“Dude,” Nate starts, “You’ve already done, like, so much. I’m starting to feel bad.” He’s smiling as he says it but EJ thinks there might a dose of truth in there. 

“Shut up,” he says. He kicks him under the table again, a bit harder now. “I get a place to stay  _ and  _ really cute pics out of it,” he says.

Nate snorts, but he doesn’t fight EJ on it. They sit at the table for the next hour or so coming up with possible questions for any prospective nannies, half googling and half brainstorming. EJ writes it all down on his phone and then makes a group chat of all the guys with kids. He names it  _ nanny quest  _ and leaves the rest up to Nate.

Nate looks a lot less grumpy by the end of the night and a lot more relaxed. He keeps giving EJ weird looks and opening his mouth, so EJ tells him to shut it because he doesn’t Nate to thank him again. 

Nate calls two of the agencies the guys suggest the next morning, schedules a handful of interviews for the next two days since they don’t have too much time. Tyson jumps on the hype train too, which EJ is honestly relieved about. He comes to Nate’s the day the first three interviews are scheduled equipped with a handful of colorful papers that he proclaims are the holy grail of nanny interview questions.

EJ doesn’t know about that, but he looks them over carefully before asking Tyson where he got them. 

Tyson shrugs. “Pinterest,” he says confidently. 

EJ makes a face like he’s really disappointed in him but he’s not touching that with a ten foot pole.

“What?” Tyson squawks. “I want to renovate the guest rooms, I  _ told  _ you.”

EJ refuses to leave Tyson alone about that in any way, except the doorbell rings a few seconds later and he has to resist giving it to him in favor of presenting as a mature adult. Tyson doesn’t say anything either, and EJ can tell Nate is really proud of both of them. 

+

They have to interview all of the candidates the agency sends first, and only two make it to the meeting-the-kids phase. Nate eventually settles on Jess, because she did really well with Riley who tends to be a bit more difficult and also because Nate’s dog took a particular liking to her, and Nate claims he’s an excellent judge of character. 

He asks for EJ’s thoughts on it too though. EJ agrees because Jess also has a more flexible schedule, which he thinks will work better with theirs. 

EJ can see how relieved Nate is, by the end of it. He collapses onto the play mat next to EJ and the babies after he gets off the phone with Jess, smiling just a little.

“It’s done,” he tells EJ, sounding much lighter. He reaches out and tickles Riley’s foot until she starts to laugh, and EJ takes out his phone and snaps a pic without really thinking about it. He sends it to Gabe like he’s been doing for the past few days, ever since Nate told him about the babies, and captions it,  _ look at her hooves _ . 

EJ laughs hard enough at his own caption that Nate looks over, so EJ shows him, gets to see Nate smile softly. He snorts at the caption and says, “I can’t believe you called her feet hooves.”

EJ shrugs, still smiling to himself. Gabe sees the pic and sends back,  _ awww you’re a great co-parent _ before EJ has a chance to pull his phone away. EJ isn’t sure if Nate manages to read it but the words make him flush anyway, and he shifts away from him.

He types back a quick,  _ shut up _ to Gabe and gets up. He feels embarrassed now, and like he wants to get away from Nate. “I’m going to get some air,” he says, which is a bit harsh and makes EJ feel bad, but also is incredibly transparent.

Or maybe not, because Nate doesn’t say anything other than a mildly confused, “Okay,” so EJ pushes his feet in his shoes and gets out of there. 

The things is, EJ thinks as he heads down the driveway, EJ doesn’t want to overstep. He enjoys living here with Nate and the babies, and he loves helping out and spending time with them, but he knows it’s just temporary. In a few weeks, EJ will have to move out and go home, so these co-parenting jokes aren’t really helpful. 

EJ’s feelings about Nate factor into the equation too, and not in a encouraging way either. EJ is just confused by them, because he kind of wants to look at Nate and make him smile and laugh, and he also wants to be there for his kids, and this is an extremely messy situation. And EJ hates messy situations. 

Maybe a good solution would be to move into a hotel but. EJ is selfish. He likes it here, he doesn’t want to go to a hotel. And anyway, if he tried it Gabe would chew his ear off about it, and no, that’s definitely not EJ coming up with half-assed excuses to keep living with Nate. 

EJ isn’t any closer to a decision of any sort half an hour later, but it’s also the middle of the day and he didn’t bring his sunglasses so he’s starting to get a headache from the sun shining in his eyes. 

He finds Nate in the living room when he gets back, tidying up the babies’ toys. Nate looks up and smiles at him when he sees EJ come in, and he doesn’t seem annoyed at all that EJ practically abandoned him. Why should he, anyway; Nate was fine before EJ got here, and he’ll be fine after EJ leaves. 

“Everything okay?” Nate asks him. 

EJ knocks himself out of it and nods, busies himself with helping Nate with the toys. There are only so many toys though, and three minutes later EJ has nothing to occupy himself with. He’s about to hightail it out of there again when Nate opens his mouth, kind of hesitant, and EJ braces himself. 

“So, listen,” Nate starts. EJ would rather not, but Nate’s got him pinned with this very serious look. “I — I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay here and help me,” Nate blurts out then, all in a rush.

EJ stops short. “Uhm,” he tries. 

“Because I didn’t mean to, but I read Gabe’s text and you looked pretty freaked out after,” Nate explains. “I don’t want you to feel obligated, is my point.” His face looks red, EJ notes, and he’s biting his lip between his teeth. 

“And obviously you’re so great with them, but it’s not — like, you don’t have to be here if you don’t want to,” Nate continues. “I don’t want that.”

EJ lets out a breath he was fully aware he was holding. “It’s not that,” he admits. 

Nate looks up. “Oh?” 

“Yeah, I —” EJ swallows. It feels difficult to admit this, even though he knows better now what’s on Nate’s mind. “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m crossing a line,” EJ gets out. 

“A line,” Nate repeats. It’s pretty clear he’s not following. 

“Yeah, you know,” EJ tries. “A line,  _ the  _ line.”

Nate still looks perplexed, so EJ guesses he’ll have to get over himself and explain this. 

He takes a breath. “Like. What am I even doing here?” he asks, and feel ridiculous for needing this sort of reassurance as soon as the words are out of his mouth. 

Nate looks taken aback, which only doubles EJ’s humiliation. Nate opens his mouth, though it’s very clear he doesn’t know what to say to that. 

“Nevermind,” EJ says quickly. He chuckles, nervous, and changes the subject to dinner. He’s half hoping Nate will just refuse to let it go, but Nate agrees that they should order in, and that’s pretty much the end of it.

+

Their conversation does little to soothe EJ, but Jess starts her trial period the next day. It’s just a week before training camp, which means they’re cutting it pretty close, so EJ sucks it up. He plays with the twins while Nate shows Jess around and gives her a rundown of their schedule. 

EJ read online that it’s important to talk to babies, so that’s what he does now. He feels ridiculous at first but gets used to it pretty quickly, especially after they start responding to his voice. Riley seems to find it amusing, laughing whenever EJ starts to say something, whereas Amy is more thoughtful. That’s okay though, EJ tickles her foot until she starts laughing too.

After the tour Jess says she needs to actually do something now, so she comes to join them on the play mat. She talks to the babies too, EJ is happy to see, and is good at keeping them occupied and engaged. 

Nate trails after her when it’s feeding time and insists on checking everything she does and apologizing after for doing so, though Jess doesn’t seem bothered by this. “I’m used to it when I’m first starting out,” she says, “Especially with new parents.”

That seems to appease Nate somewhat. He even trusts her about the temperature of the formula without checking first, even though he looks like he’s itching for it.

Jess leaves a little after the twins’ bedtime, after she and Nate hash out the last few details. Nate insists EJ be there for that too, and EJ has no problem with that except he’s not sure where it’s coming from. 

“What do you think?” Nate asks EJ, after Jess has left. 

EJ thinks Jess did great, especially with handling Nate’s moods, and he says as much. He’s just not sure if Nate is asking because he legitimately wants EJ’s opinion, or because he’s trying to compensate for yesterday afternoon. 

Whatever the case, Nate laughs and shoves EJ’s shoulder. EJ just wishes he hadn’t opened that particular can of worms. 

+

Gabe invites everyone for a barbecue over at his place a couple of days before training camp. Nate is hesitant at first, but the group chat in its entirety expresses a vivid desire to meet the babies outside of pictures, and EJ encourages him a bit so he’s eventually convinced. 

Still, he’s nervous about it. Jess comes over in the morning and they’re right back to square one, even though he had started to trust her more the past few days. Jess seems understanding. She gives him some advice on what to pack, but tells them both that the babies might start to get grumpy after a point. 

Nate looks less stressed after she leaves, but he makes EJ double check both car seats and then checks them himself too. Once Tyson comes over, Nate hands him the instruction manual and has him look them over as well. Tyson squints his way through it, grunting occasionally, and by the end he’s sweaty and grumpy about it.

“I should have brought another shirt,” he mutters to himself. 

Once everything it up to Nate’s standards, he hands EJ the keys to his car. “Drive safe,” he says, very seriously. 

“We are literally going to be in the same car,” EJ points out, mostly to diffuse the tension. 

Nate huffs, so it sort of works. He does try to backseat drive the entire time, making EJ eventually snap at him to be quiet. Tyson films the whole thing and sends it to the group chat. They’re running late, so EJ hopes their teammates are too busy eating to check their phones. 

There is a chorus of excitement when the five of them finally make it to Gabe’s, though it’s mostly due to the babies, rather than themselves. EJ can live with that though; he gets it. 

Their teammates collectively coo over Amy and Riley, and the twins seem to be enjoying the attention. They laugh happily and reach out, and Riley tries to grab onto Bernie's extremely manicured beard when he picks her up. 

“She loves me already,” he murmurs to her. 

Amy grunts like she’s feeling left out, so Z picks her up and starts talking to her in Russian. Amy probably doesn’t understand, but she seems to enjoy the sound of his voice. She enjoys it even more when Josty starts making faces at her, even reaching out and accidentally smacking him in the cheek.

EJ watches the whole thing with a smile on his face. He scans the room for Nate and finds him already looking at EJ. Their eyes meet and Nate smiles, and EJ’s stomach flutters. He thinks it’s pretty useless trying to tramp it down, so he just looks away. 

+

The babies are exhausted by the time they’re home again, after dropping Tyson off so he wouldn't even have to walk the five minutes from Nate’s house to his. Nate picks up Amy and EJ grabs Riley and they take them up to Nate’s bedroom, lay them in their cribs gently. 

Nate turns on the baby mobiles and closes the shades, which EJ supposes means he should get going. Still, he lingers, watching the babies sleep, and then he feels Nate next to him, their shoulders touching. 

“Thanks,” he says, “For today.”

EJ’s skin feels warm where Nate is touching him. “It’s no problem.” He shrugs. “Didn’t really do much.”

Nate huffs. “You’re making sure I don’t lose it,” he says, quiet. 

“Hm?” EJ turns to meet his eyes, but Nate is looking resolutely at Amy.

“And they love you,” Nate goes on. “I can never get Riley to take her bottle on the first try, and you just…” he trails off. 

“Anyway,” Nate starts again. “That’s that I should have said the other day,” he says. “When you asked.”

EJ — he’s got nothing. He feels his stomach get so tight and his face burns. He feels so happy. “Oh,” he just says, like a loser. 

Nate chuckles. “Yeah,” he says. He looks away from Amy and up at EJ, and they’re so close. EJ can see Nate’s lashes. 

He swallows. He thinks he’s supposed to say something here. No, he’s sure of it, but he's coming up empty, so they just end up looking at each other. It should be awkward but it’s just — slow. 

Nate’s eyes drift down to EJ’s lips, and EJ’s breath shakes. He thinks, if he tried it, Nate wouldn't move away. EJ thinks Nate would even press into it, and that’s a thought. It has EJ leaning it, just a bit, and then Nate moves in the rest of the way and they’re kissing. 

It’s not much, just a barely there touch, but EJ’s breath stops. His hands hang at his sides before reaching out, and then Nate is moving closer, parting his lips, and — EJ’s phone goes off.

EJ freezes. It’s so loud, piercing, so he gets out of there and down the hall because he doesn’t want to wake up the babies. It’s Gabe, of course it is. “What?” EJ asks. His voice is dry. 

“Uhm, hello to you too,” Gabe says, peeved. 

EJ’s face still feels so warm. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. 

Gabe huffs and tells EJ they left some baby bottles at his place. Figures, EJ thinks; that bag was way too light on their way home. “Thanks,” he says to Gabe. “I’ll come get them tomorrow.”

EJ thinks that’s going to be the end of it, but Gabe is in the mood for a chat apparently. First he asks EJ about what he thought of his burgers, and then how the guys seemed to him. EJ would love to brush these questions off, but Gabe sounds nervous, especially when Gabe starts going on about the team, so EJ accepts defeat.

Nate is in the kitchen when EJ gets off the phone, putting all the baby formula supplies back in their place. “Everything okay?” he asks EJ. His face isn’t red anymore, and for a wild moment EJ wonders if he imagined it all. 

“Uhm,” EJ says, and it takes him a while to get it together. “Yeah, just Gabe,” he says, and relays their talk to Nate. “I’ll go pick the bottles up tomorrow,” he says. “Unless we need them now?” EJ doesn’t even notice the slip at first with the we, but Nate doesn’t seem to either. 

“No, I think there are a few more  _ somewhere  _ over here,” he mutters. He starts opening and closing cupboards to find them, and he’s wearing a white t-shirt; EJ hadn’t quite noticed until now how tight it is. 

EJ kind of wants to pick it up from where they left off, but he doesn’t feel as confident now. He wants to talk to Nate, thinks he should, but Nate looks completely unbothered. It throws EJ off balance and he’s just looking at him. 

EJ’s heart is thumping in his chest just at the prospect of kissing Nate, and his palms are starting to sweat. He wants to say something, but Nate turns around and announces he’s going to bed. 

EJ just stands there, stunned. Nate is walking out, and EJ’s mind kicks into gear at the last minute and he reaches out. He wraps his fingers around Nate’s wrist, pulls him to a stop. “Wait,” he says. 

Nate turns to look at him. He looks pained. Whatever EJ was going to say suddenly dies on his tongue. “I…” he trails off, uncertain. 

Nate probably takes pity on him. He gently pulls his hand out of EJ’s grasp and says, “It’s not just me.” 

EJ, for once in his life, is following. He’s been living here with Nate and the twins for almost a month. “You think I don’t know that?” he asks. His voice comes out kind of hurt. 

Nate looks even more pained to have to do this. “You say that now but —” he sighs. “I don’t want you to just up and change your mind.”

EJ feels a pit open in his stomach, feels it widening with Nate's words. “I won’t,” he says honestly. 

Nate breathes out. He opens his mouth to say something, another protest probably, but EJ cuts him off. 

“I  _ won’t, _ ” he repeats.

Nate looks torn, but also like he believes him. EJ desperately doesn’t want to screw this up. “Think about it,” he blurts out, both to stall Nate and give him time to consider this. 

Nate looks abruptly relieved and EJ thinks he made the right call even though he hates the uncertainty of it. “I’ll be here,” he promises. 

+

Nate acts as if nothing happened, next morning. EJ gets that, but he can both understand it and hate it. He keeps wanting to say something, something to sway Nate somehow, but that would be a dick move, he thinks, and then Jess is there, and then EJ has to run to Gabe’s for the bottles.

He collapses face down onto Gabe’s couch as soon as he gets there, only moving to pet Zoey when she pushes her nose into his neck. EJ can’t see Gabe like this, but he can hear him and he sounds extremely amused. 

“Shut up,” EJ mumbles. 

Gabe just throws one of Zoey’s toys at him like an asshole. EJ turns his head to the side to flip him off, but he must look upset or something because Gabe’s face changes. His brows draw together and he stops smiling, like he’s worried. 

EJ shoves his face back into the couch. “Why do I make terrible decisions?” he asks. He’s mostly referring to putting himself in this situation, but also not trying harder to prove to Nate that he wasn’t just going to change his mind about him and the twins.  

“Uhm,” Gabe tries. A few seconds pass and he asks, “Is this about Nate?”

EJ sits up and narrows his eyes at Gabe. 

“Just a guess,” Gabe says quickly. “I could see you looking at him yesterday,” he explains. 

EJ feels himself flush. “Oh,” he says, for lack of anything better. 

“Did something happen between you?” Gabe asks after a moment. 

EJ considers his options here. He thinks he could tell Gabe to let it go and he would, but also he really wants to tell someone. He wants Gabe to validate his choice, as weird as that sounds, so he spits out everything, from the kiss to the phone call to the talk after, and looks at Gabe expectantly.

“Hmm,” Gabe just says, which - 

“What does that even  _ mean _ ?”

“It means that now you just have to wait.” Gabe shrugs. “I mean, Nate is in a tough spot. You did the right thing, giving him space.”

While that soothes EJ’s nerves somewhat, he still says, “I bet he’s just trying to come up with a way to let me down gently.”

Gabe rolls his eyes. “Nate wouldn't do that,” he says. “He'll come to you when he’s ready.”

EJ groans and falls back onto the couch face first. “I hate this,” he says.

“I know, buddy, but you gotta give him time,” Gabe says. 

EJ groans. “There’s literally nothing I can do,” he mumbles into the cushions. 

“You can show him you’re for real,” Gabe says. 

That sounds fairly cryptic to EJ. He asks, “How do I do  _ that _ ?” He turns his head to the side and Gabe is giving him a look like he’s being purposefully obtuse. 

“Keep doing what you’re doing?  Make yourself useful and take these home and give them to him,” he suggests, pointing to the bag of baby bottles on the coffee table. “Keep helping him out with the twins, you’re obviously good at it.. Perhaps stop whining and take your shoes off my white couch?” Gabe lifts his shoulders exaggeratedly and EJ huffs. 

He sits up, obediently taking his feet off Gabe’s couch even though his shoes weren’t touching it in the first place. Gabe keeps heckling him until EJ stops feeling quite so sad, so by the time EJ is back in his car he’s feeling more confident about this. He sort of has a plan.

Okay, maybe confident is a stretch, but he doesn’t want to hit his head against the wall currently, which is honestly an improvement. 

+

EJ thinks following Gabe’s advice will be hard, and it is, but it helps that he has hockey to distract him.

Training camp starts, and EJ is too busy being a walking, talking corpse to do much else. Whatever energy he doesn’t put in at the rink he uses to wake up in the middle of the night for the twins, and Nate isn’t much better. Jess helps, but she’s only there during the day and Nate insists that’s more than enough.

It’s the preseason, after training camp, and their first two games are on the road. It’s the first time Nate is going to spend full days away from Amy and Riley — three of them — and to say Nate is anxious would be an understatement. 

Nate writes down his cell number on five different post-its and sticks them all over the house, even though Jess has it saved in her phone. He writes EJ’s number too, and his mom’s, and sticks them to the fridge as well. He makes Jess promise to send him photos and keep him posted, and tell him if they’re missing out on anything. 

“You won’t,” Jess tells him. “I’ll literally video everything.”

Nate seems to accept that. He and EJ say goodbye to the babies before they leave, which takes longer than planned, frankly. 

In the car, Nate is a nervous wreck. EJ thinks he should say something except — well, he feels funny. Anxious and sweaty, and they’re halfway to the airport before he realizes that it’s probably separation anxiety or something like that. The realization makes his anxiety even worse, because he thought, between him and Nate, EJ is supposed to be the calm one about this. 

They’re one of the last to get on the plane but not the last ones, and Nate follows EJ to his seat. He hovers in the aisle while EJ puts his things away and finally blurts out, “We really aren’t going to miss anything?” 

EJ mostly gets stuck on the  _ we _ ; it takes him a while to let it go. Then he gets it together enough to say, “Yeah. Jess said she’ll send us videos, it’ll be fine.” Honestly, EJ is sure it doesn’t come out that convincing. He’s half sure he’s going to miss their first steps on this road trip even though he knows there’s still a long time for that. 

“You’re right,” Nate says anyway. When EJ turns to look at him, Nate’s face is set in determination. “Yeah,” he says again, probably to himself. 

EJ is scrambling for something more to say, something maybe more comforting, when Gabe walks into Nate’s back.

“Hey!” Nate says, stepping aside.

“You stole my best friend, now you’re gonna steal my seat too?” Gabe asks, pointed. 

“You’re sitting with  _ him _ ?” Tyson asks then, outraged from two rows ahead. 

EJ rolls his eyes. He glances at Nate, finds him already looking his way. EJ makes a face, like,  _ aren’t they a couple of losers _ but it takes Nate a couple of seconds to respond. He’s probably thinking about Amy and Riley, EJ thinks. 

+

They win their first game, and it’s the preseason so it doesn’t really count, but the guys are still pumped. They all decide to go out after, and EJ’s just getting ready when his phone starts vibrating. He reaches for it and sees it’s a bunch of photos from Jess, a few videos too. 

EJ’s heart does a little swoop in his chest, because he didn’t really think he was going to get anything. He’s just about to open their chat when someone knocks on his door. EJ’s half tempted to tell them to go away just because he's feeling extra mushy right now, but Nate’s voice comes through the door two seconds later, letting EJ know it’s him.  

“Oh,” Nate says, once EJ opens the door. EJ threw on a pair of jeans but didn’t bother with a shirt, and he sees it, now, the way Nate’s eyes trail down his chest. It makes EJ’s face feel warm. “I didn’t mean to —”

“It’s cool,” EJ cuts him off. “Come in.”

“I just, uhm, Jess,” Nate tries. He sounds flustered, and EJ likes it, weirdly. “She sent me some pics, if you wanted to see.”

“Yeah, I got them too,” EJ says, without really thinking about it. He sees Nate’s face fall and is quick to backtrack. “I haven’t opened them yet though.”

“That’s — okay,” Nate says. He still sounds off balance, but it gets better once they sit down. 

Nate’s brought his iPad for maximum effect so the two of them can see Amy and Riley being babies in 13 glorious inches. Most of the photos are of them playing; some of them show Riley reaching out towards the camera and then Amy crying, which makes both EJ and Nate laugh.

There’s a video of Amy playing with the baby piano mat Tyson got for them and then another one of Riley kicking her tiny feet in the air. There’s a third video of them outside, pointing to Nate’s dog, walking beside them. 

Needless to say, once EJ and Nate have gone through everything, EJ’s heart is feeling significantly soft. “Wow,” he says. “I didn’t think I was going to miss them this much,” he blurts out, and the only reason the words slip out is that EJ’s walls are down. 

Nate turns to give EJ a perplexed look. “Yeah?” he asks. 

EJ shrugs, suddenly uncomfortable. 

“I mean,” Nate starts, “You’re really close. It’d be weird if you didn’t miss them,” he says. 

“I guess,” EJ says. He turns to look at Nate and notices how close they are again. EJ can see Nate’s lashes all over again, the bridge of his nose, and he  _ wants _ . He wants to kiss him, wants to be even closer, but he doesn’t — he wants Nate to come to him. And anyway, EJ feels too raw, and he doesn’t want their next kiss to be a way out of that.

Maybe Nate agrees. He pulls back and gets up, makes a motion like it’s time to go. “I’ll leave you to it,” he says. 

EJ nods. He walks him to the door and then leans against it, once Nate leaves. Stays there until his phone starts going off, Gabe telling him to get moving or he’s leaving without him. 

+

It’s weird, but EJ wakes up for no reason three times that night. It’s so quiet, this room, no crying or doors opening and closing or Nate’s steps thumping on the stairs. 

The third time it’s a bit after five and EJ feels restless, so he reaches for his phone. He opens whatsapp and presses on Nate’s chat for no reason. Nate is online though, so EJ taps on the text box. He can see Nate typing, then stopping before starting again, so EJ waits him out. 

_ can’t sleep? _ Nate eventually sends, and EJ lets out a breath of relief.

He waits a few seconds before replying.  _ you too? _

_ too quiet _ , Nate sends back. 

EJ wants to say more, but Nate beats him to it. 

_ up for a movie? _ he asks,  _ my room  _ and EJ swears to god, this is the fastest he’s ever moved. 

Nate looks sleep ruffled but not sleepy when he opens the door, and EJ thinks it’s a cute look on him. He doesn’t say as much, but the words are right there, on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he asks, “What are you in the mood for?”

Nate shrugs. He moves to sit against the headboard, and there’s plenty of room on the bed so EJ joins him. Nate pulls out his laptop and logs onto netflix. “Tyson keeps bugging me about starting Luther but I don’t know,” he says. He makes a face and it makes EJ laugh.

“I’m feeling a comedy,” he admits. 

“Hmm,” Nate hums. “Could it be a romantic comedy?” Nate asks, looking between the categories. 

“Sure,” EJ says, so they end up re watching Crazy Stupid Love even though they’ve both seen it before. 

It doesn’t turn out to matter much; EJ falls asleep halfway through or maybe sooner. When he wakes up, he’s covered in a blanket, which he feels is strange since he went to sleep on top of the covers. 

What’s stranger is Nate pressed along his back, so EJ doesn’t dwell on the blanket situation. Nate’s warm and his breathing is steady, warm puffs of air that brush over the back of EJ’s neck. EJ shivers, curling deeper under the covers before he thinks to check his phone and realizes they’re running seriously late. 

EJ resists the urge to jump out of bed, because he doesn’t want to wake Nate up abruptly, but also Nate’s body heat just feels really good. Instead he painstakingly removes himself from under the covers and gently nudges Nate awake.

Nate’s eyes open fast, and he smiles at EJ softly, just for a moment before he seems to catch himself. “Hey,” he says, gruff suddenly as if he’s trying to make up for it. 

EJ doesn’t know how to tell him that he doesn’t have to. He just says, “We’re running late for breakfast,” like a loser.

Nate sees to accept it. “Okay.” He rubs a hand over his face and sits up. “I’ll meet you downstairs?” he suggests, and EJ nods, tripping over himself in his haste to get to his room and get downstairs stealth enough not to raise any questions. He fails pretty spectacularly. 

Gabe takes one look at him and looks like he’s ready to give EJ the third degree, whereas Tyson simply asks him if he’s seen Nate.

“Yeah.” Gabe grins. “Have you?”

EJ loathes him. 

+

Their next game is in Nashville, and Nate goes beast mode. He scores three goals and basically annihilates the Preds, a very loud fuck you for last year, probably. EJ doesn’t play too many minutes because Bednar is giving the young guys the opportunity to show their stuff, but he loves every single one; he didn’t get to play enough last season, missed too much time with injuries, and he’s excited for this year.

They fly home after the game, though the guys are too excited for anyone to sleep. Jess waits up for Nate and EJ, and once they get home she gives them a quick and quiet rundown of the past three days and promises to be back the day after tomorrow. 

Once Jess is gone, EJ follows Nate to his bedroom to say hello to the babies. They’re sleeping so he’s quiet about it, just smiles down at them stupidly and tells them  _ sweet dreams _ . They don’t look bigger or different, just cuter, if that’s possible, and that’s a relief.

EJ wakes up during the night for the first time at 3 a.m. to the sounds of muffled crying down the hall, and it sounds crazy but he sort of missed it. He gets out of bed and runs into Nate holding a crying Riley while more crying comes from his bedroom. 

“I got her,” EJ says quickly, so Nate can take care of Amy.

Nate gives him a grateful look and gently hands Riley over. She immediately tucks her face under EJ’s chin, one of her hands fisted in EJ’s t-shirt, and EJ kisses the top of her head. He makes her formula one-handed and then feeds her while Nate makes Amy’s. Riley keeps looking up at EJ with her huge eyes, and EJ would be lying if he said it didn’t turn his heart to actual mush. 

After they’re fed, he and Nate take the babies back upstairs, lay them in their cribs. EJ flicks on their mobiles and turns to leave when Nate says, “Just sleep here.”

EJ’s eyes grow a little wide at that, and when he turns around to look at him, Nate’s face is red, even in the relative dark. 

“I mean, it’s just easier than you waking up down the hall,” Nate explains. He sounds a bit flustered, and his lisp is more pronounced now that he’s sleepy. 

EJ is too tired. Even if he weren’t, he wouldn't exactly turn Nate down. 

It’s a bit awkward at first, just getting into bed next to Nate while Nate is awake, but it’s shockingly easy after that. Nate’s breathing slows down, and EJ shuffles under the covers and lets his eyes slip shut with what feels like too much space between them.

+

The space is significantly decreased by the time EJ wakes up. In fact, when he wakes up Nate is pressed along his back, and he’s really warm. EJ wants to sort of curl into it, but he also thinks that might be kind of weird. 

It doesn’t end up mattering though, because Nate wakes up not two minutes later. His arm that’s thrown over EJ’s side tightens before he seems to catch himself and moves away. “Sorry,” Nate mumbles, voice rough. 

EJ’s heart is thumping in his chest. He says, “No problem,” and tries to breathe normally until Nate moves even further away and they’re not touching anymore. 

EJ wonders what he should do now, if he should get up or what, but his problem is easily solved when one of the babies starts crying. EJ checks his phone for the time and figures they’re past due for it.

Nate and EJ have an off day, which means Jess has her day off too, so Nate and EJ decide to take the twins out of a stroll. They’ve been venturing further away from the house each time, and this morning it’s the park. 

The weather is nice out, sunny but not too hot, so they sit on a bench and EJ pulls down the sun covers for the babies so they’re not blinded. There’s an ice cream truck across from them, and EJ — on a whim — gets up and buys some ice cream for him and Nate. 

Nate smiles when EJ hands him his cone. “Thanks, man,” he says happily, and dives right into it. 

EJ laughs and digs in too. They’re sitting close together again, EJ can’t help but notice, and there’s a tension between them, unspoken but very much present. EJ doesn’t exactly mind it. 

The tension is still there after they get back to the house and through dinner. It makes EJ keep glancing up at Nate but looking away before Nate can catch him, and it makes his face warm too. It has EJ jumping when his and Nate’s feet touch under the table. 

EJ helps Nate put away the dishes once they’re done and the two of them move to the living room to watch a movie after. Nate picks — another romcom. They start off at opposite ends of the couch but veer closer to each other as the movie goes on until they’re basically pressed together. 

The tension keeps building, it feels like, and EJ’s leg keeps jiggling until Nate has to reach out and steady it. “Sorry,” he says, nervous. 

Nate turns to look at EJ, maybe like he wants to say something but stops just short of it. They’re really close again, EJ can’t help but notice, and he thinks he can see Nate’s freckles. He opens his mouth, looking to say something, and then Nate’s leaning in and EJ forgets about his words. 

His breath just cuts out, and Nate leans in even more and their lips touch, soft and mostly hesitant. EJ feels like this is what they’ve been heading towards since that afternoon after Gabe’s barbecue, yet he’s frozen in place now. His hand twitches on his thigh, itching to touch Nate, but that’s frozen too. 

The kiss is barely two seconds long, EJ thinks, and then Nate is pulling back. “Sorry, I —” he tries. He looks really red. “I thought…” 

EJ looks at him and his brain kicks in gear. He glances down at Nate’s lips and then looks up into his eyes. Curves his palm over Nate’s cheek and leans in, too fast. EJ feels the way Nate's breath shakes as they kiss, and it makes his stomach curl, simply that reaction. 

EJ wants to say _ you thought right, _ but mostly he doesn’t want to stop kissing Nate so he tries to say it with his lips. He kisses Nate gently at first until Nate parts his lips and then deeper, until they’re both breathing hard.

After too long, EJ pulls back to breathe, and Nate threads his fingers through EJ’s hair and pulls him back in, and air is overrated anyway. Nate nudges EJ, and EJ lets himself be moved until he’s lying on his back on the couch, Nate carefully leaning over him. 

They kiss again, harder this time, and EJ curls his hands over Nate’s biceps and pulls him down until Nate’s resting his weight on top of EJ. It pushes EJ’s breath out of him, but they’re touching all over, like this, so it’s worth it.

EJ slips his hand under Nate’s t-shirt at some point, feels him shiver as he drags his hand up Nate's side. Nate’s skin is warm, his lips too when they press against EJ’s throat, his collarbones. EJ presses into it, his heart skipping too many beats in his chest, but it doesn’t turn more heated than that. EJ doesn’t really think he’d like for it to. 

They keep kissing, touching each other, too, until the baby monitor goes off, loud in the background. Nate pulls back to rest his forehead on EJ’s shoulder, and EJ kisses his temple, chuckling.

“Naturally,” Nate huffs. 

EJ rubs his back. “Want me to get it?” he asks, mostly because he’s still currently pressed under Nate. 

“I got it.” Nate lifts himself up with what looks to be great effort. He practically runs up the stairs, which turns out to be a good thing since it gives EJ a couple of minutes to talk his face out of all the redness.

EJ is confident his face is a nice, regular color by the time Nate comes back a few minutes later. He’s baby-less and smiling, and EJ can’t help but notice all the things he kept chastising himself for looking at before, like Nate’s biceps and how tight his t-shirt is. 

Nate realizes, EJ thinks, because his smile widens and he walks over, moves to straddle EJ’s thighs. EJ is not used to seeing Nate this confident in this sort of setting, so the whole thing is a rush. He sets his hands high up on Nate’s thighs and leans back, looking up at him.

“Hey,” EJ says. He drags his hands up and under Nate’s t-shirt, splays his fingers out around Nate’s waist. 

Nate chuckles. He leans down and presses their lips together, hands framing EJ’s face. It’s slow, the whole thing, and EJ likes that. The sun is filtering in through the curtains and the TV is playing in the background, and EJ can’t look away from Nate. 

The kiss doesn’t get heated but EJ does, and he’s not sure what this is yet but he wants Nate and him to be on the same page. “What do you want?” he asks.  

“I want to take you on a date,” Nate says, which is certainly not what EJ expected. 

Not something that he’s going to turn down either. “Okay,” he says. It comes out a little breathless. 

“Great.” Nate moves in for another kiss. He abruptly climbs off EJ after — which is less than optimal — but curls into his side right after, which is not. 

They watch the rest of the movie like that, and it’s good, how EJ gets to be close to Nate without trying to be covert about it. Another movie comes up on autoplay after the first one, and neither of them bothers moving so they watch the second one like that too. 

EJ’s starting to get pretty sleepy about halfway in, so he sort of slumps against Nate, hovering in the place between sleep and wakefulness. The height difference makes it kind of awkward, but Nate’s shoulder is warm and comfortable, so EJ doesn’t think he’ll be moving any time soon. 

+

EJ is half sure the next morning is going to be awkward just because that’s the kind of luck he has. He wakes up and heads downstairs to find Nate heating up frozen waffles, which EJ personally thinks is kind of romantic.

Still, he asks, “Am I not even worth homemade ones?” just to be a dick.

Nate turns and gives him a guilty look and it’s only then that EJ sees the pan in the sink, covered in goo, and the mixing bowl on the counter. He breathes and that’s definitely burnt smell reaching his nose, and, “You didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Nate says quickly. “I’m just bad with pans!” He looks a little bit embarrassed and EJ hates that. Also, the fact that Nate woke up early enough to have the time to make and burn a batch of whatever he attempted just for EJ makes EJ’s heart kind of warm. 

EJ smiles and walks up to Nate, leans down so he can press their lips together. He feels a little daring, so he moves his hands low on Nate’s waist and kisses the corner of his mouth; his cheek. “Thank you,” he says.  

Nate flushes very deeply. “It’s no big deal,” he says, sounding a bit out of breath. He glances up at EJ and kisses him again, slow, almost languid. He pulls back a little, after a moment, and murmurs, “Will tonight work for you?”

EJ isn’t really following but he says, “Sure,” anyway because contrary to popular belief he’s not an idiot.

Nate, like he can tell, clarifies. “For the date,” he says, amused.

“Oh.” EJ -; well, he thought he’d had more time to prepare, like, emotionally. And also find where he put his fake teeth. Nate is looking at him now though, so EJ figures he’s going to have act fast with the teeth situation. “Of course I’m ready,” he lies. He  _ thinks _ he left his teeth at his house, but he’ll have to check to make sure. 

+

They have practice and then a game, and in between EJ makes up an excuse to go to his house and look for his teeth. He looks through his tarp covered bedroom much to John’s dismay, and even asks Gabe, who is ultimately unhelpful. 

“I don’t keep track of your teeth,” he says, in this tone like he thinks EJ is being weird, so EJ is basically forced to explain everything to him. 

EJ is pretty sure Gabe will make him feel guilty for not telling him sooner — even though he and Nate only kissed last night — and he does. “All I’m saying is I told you when Mel and I kissed,” Gabe says. 

EJ rolls his eyes and looks inside his nightstand. “You practically shouted it at the rooftops, that does not count,” he argues. 

“Whatever,” Gabe mumbles. He does give EJ a couple of ideas on where to look for the teeth, but unfortunately EJ comes up short. 

“Dude,” Gabe tells him, “You don't need your teeth.” He sounds serious over the speakerphone and EJ sighs and sits on the tarp covering his bed. 

“Yeah, but isn’t it kind of awkward?” EJ asks. He has no idea why this is catching up to him now; he was fine yesterday afternoon and this morning. 

“Nate doesn’t care,” Gabe says, leaving hardly any room for EJ to argue. “Now go and have fun.”. He makes EJ promise to stop obsessing over the teeth and go back to Nate’s so John can keep working. 

After they hang up, EJ is tempted to look through the room one more time, but — this is who he is. He wants Nate to like him for that, and that’s a bit scary, but ultimately better than a bunch of plastic in Nate's mouth. 

+

EJ asks Nate where they’re going, after the game, but Nate is oddly cryptic about it. EJ still recognizes the drive to his favorite steakhouse, just from the sheer number of times he’s made it. He wants to know how Nate figured it out, but when he asks Nate just says, “Gotta keep some tricks up my sleeve.” At the same time, he looks very proud of himself. 

EJ is worried at first that it will be awkward. He and Nate have been spending most of their days together routinely for that past few weeks, and that tends to dry up possible conversation starters. He’s kind of panicking about it, but Nate just starts talking about the game, and it’s easy after that to settle into conversation.

The two of them have obviously spent time alone together before, but never in this context and EJ is pleasantly surprised by how different it is. He makes an effort to be funnier than usual just to make Nate laugh, and even resists stopping Nate from digging into his food so he can take an insta food pic. EJ’s making grand sacrifices here.

Nate sees right through it. “You totally wanna post a pic, right?”

EJ tries to refuse, but he probably does a bad job of it. Nate makes a show of picking his phone up off the table so EJ can take the picture, and EJ grins before snapping one. It’s pretty bad, but most of his food pics are. It’s just an art he hasn’t mastered yet. 

Nate sees it and chirps EJ for his terrible picture taking skills, which prompts EJ to turn the phone in Nate’s direction and snap one of him too. It’s pretty terrible; Nate is making a surprised grimace with his eyes half squinted shut and the resolution isn't helping. EJ favorites it.

+

After dinner, they walk around downtown for a bit and shockingly don’t run out of things to talk about. They walk close together so their shoulders keep brushing, their hands too. EJ kind of wants to reach out and link their fingers together, but he isn’t sure if that would be too soon.

It doesn’t end up mattering though. EJ’s fingers bump Nate’s, and Nate takes EJ’s hand as they’re walking back to the car, doesn’t let go until he has to reach for his keys. 

EJ’s feeling pretty happy by the time they make it back home, and it only intensifies when Nate kisses him at the bottom of the stairs after Jess has left. 

Nate has to lean up for their lips to meet, and EJ kind of likes that. He rests his hand on Nate’s waist, under his suit jacket, and pulls him closer after a moment, until their chests are touching. It gets a bit intense after that; Nate kisses EJ deeper, his fingers pressing into EJ’s hips, and EJ starts to breathe heavier. 

EJ gets pretty into it, and when Nate pulls back he sort of dips forward, chasing after him. He opens his eyes after a moment and sees Nate watching him, this look on his face that EJ can’t really make out. It looks heated, but he’s also smiling, and EJ chuckles nervously. 

“I should’ve put in my teeth, huh,” he says, mostly joking but also not. 

Nate’s eyes grow wide. It takes him a moment to catch up. “What? No.” He shakes his head. “I just…” he starts, face turning steadily redder. “Wanna go upstairs?” he asks finally. 

EJ chokes on his breath, surprised, but nods before Nate can question himself further. He reaches out and takes Nate’s hand without caring about being forward just now and leads him upstairs.

EJ turns around and kisses Nate again at the top of the stairs, which means they pretty much have to make their way to EJ’s room blindly. It works out, in the end, after couple of bumps, but EJ gets stuck once they’re there. The feeling of not wanting to fuck this up is very present and very vivid, and it makes EJ’s palms extremely sweaty.

Nate, thankfully, doesn’t call him out on it, even though he can probably feel it. He just flicks on a couple of lights, enough that the room is bathed in a soft light, and starts kissing EJ again. He’s slow about it, tracing EJ’s lips with his tongue and then pressing closer to him.

EJ likes it, so he leans into it, moves his fingers to Nate’s button-down and starts taking it off him. He pushes it off Nate’s shoulders and runs his hands over Nate’s skin, feels the muscles in his arms. Nate’s strong — he did more pull-ups than EJ at training camp which was kind of hot, if EJ’s being honest with himself, and it’s even hotter now that EJ can feel it under his palms. 

Nate chuckles but lets EJ feel him up, and then kisses EJ’s jaw, his throat, down to the collar of his shirt. He pauses then and starts taking it off him, and EJ’s stomach quivers when Nate's fingers brush his skin. 

Nate sets his hand on EJ’s side drags it over EJ’s chest and his heart before finally wrapping it around the back of his neck. He drags EJ’s head down and kisses him, and EJ starts walking backwards toward the bed until the backs of his knees hit the mattress. 

Nate nudges him, so EJ moves to lie down, holding himself up on his elbows until Nate climbs on after him. They just look at each other for a moment, kind of stupidly, and then EJ threads a hand through Nate's hair and pulls him in until their lips meet. 

Nate has to hold himself up over EJ like this, and they kiss until his biceps start to shake, light tremors that EJ can feel under his fingers. Nate lowers himself down after a moment, and EJ breathes in. 

They’re touching almost everywhere like this, and EJ feels like he’s getting dizzy. He’s hard, and he can feel Nate getting there too, so he rocks his hips, just a little, and feels how Nate’s breath shakes. It’s a rush, so EJ does it again, and they find a rhythm between them, steady and slow. 

They’re still dressed from the waist down, but it doesn’t turn out to matter much. EJ’s heart is thumping in his chest, and his skin feel warm all over. He presses his fingers into Nate’s back  and moves with him, and pretty soon he’s breathing hard; they both are. 

It’s bad enough that EJ has to pull back after a moment just to catch his breath, and Nate takes the opportunity to kiss EJ’s throat and his chest, as far down as he can reach like this. His lips are soft and a little wet and EJ is dying inside it’s so intense. 

Nate starts moving lower then, pressing his lips to different spots on EJ’s chest and his stomach until he reaches his belt. He pauses long enough to undo it and drag EJ’s pants down, and EJ legitimately cannot look away. 

Nate holds EJ’s gaze as he takes him into his mouth, and EJ curls his fingers through Nate’s hair and tries not to lose it too soon. Nate starts off shallow, but he takes more and more of EJ into his mouth as he goes, and it feels so wet. His cheeks are flushed, his whole face is, and he looks insanely good. 

EJ wonders if he should say that or try to be chill, but then he decides chill is overrated. He starts talking, just telling Nate that he feels good and he looks good, and feels Nate shudder between his legs. He takes EJ deeper, closes his eyes before swallowing around him.

EJ can feel his stomach start to tighten, his toes curling with it, so he squeezes on Nate’s shoulder and tells him he’s close. Nate pulls back, kisses his way up to EJ’s mouth and kisses him there too. He wraps dry fingers around EJ’s dick and starts jerking him off, and EJ really doesn’t last very long. 

Nate keeps kissing him through it until EJ gets it together enough to push Nate onto his back. He starts to move down but Nate stops him. His face is really red as he says, “Just — I’m really close.”

It takes EJ a moment to understand what he means, and then he presses his thigh against Nate and kisses his throat. Nate’s eyes are shut, his lips parted as he rocks against EJ. EJ looks at him and then he kisses his way to Nate’s ear and whispers, “You look so good like this.”

He hears as much as feels it when Nate chokes on his breath, so he keeps going because he thinks Nate likes it. “You look amazing,” he says. His voice is rough but he thinks that’s working for Nate. “Come on, come for me.” EJ’s lips catch on the shell of Nate’s ear, and Nate’s fingers dig really hard into EJ’s bicep before he comes, his whole body jerking with it. 

EJ presses his lips to a bunch of spots on Nate’s throat as he comes down from it, looking up when he feels Nate’s fingers run through his hair. EJ wants to say something sappy but he also doesn’t want to break the moment. It doesn’t end up mattering much; Nate leans in and they kiss until EJ’s neck starts to ache from the awkward angle. 

EJ rests his head on Nate’s shoulder after, lets his eyes slip shut. He feels Nate start to move at some point and makes a grumpy sound. 

Nate chuckles. “Just going to bring the monitor,” he says. 

EJ is asleep by the time Nate comes back, but he does wake up to loud crying coming from the nightstand. It takes him a moment to place it and then he realizes it’s the monitor. Next to him Nate is still asleep, so EJ turns the volume down and heads to Nate’s bedroom. 

He’s just fed Riley and is putting her back to bed when he sees Nate hovering by the door. He’s got this look on his face, soft and sleep-ruffled and also happy, and EJ wonders how long he’s been standing there. He doesn’t ask because Riley is about to fall asleep, but he lets Nate take his hand after and lead him back to the bedroom. 

“You’re so great with them,” he tells EJ. 

EJ gets a vivid memory of when he first got here and Nate asking him if he’s ever held a baby before. He thinks the two of them have come a long way since then.

+

EJ wakes up first the next morning. Nate is plastered to his back, his arm thrown over EJ’s waist, and EJ basks in it for a moment. Then he reaches for his phone and stealthily snaps a pic of their faces. EJ makes a weird face at the camera to go with Nate’s half-open mouth, and then snaps a pic of Nate’s feet peeking out from under the covers at the bottom of the bed too. 

The first he keeps for his personal archive, but the second he sends to Gabe, no caption. He uploads the photo of their dinner to insta while he waits for Gabe’s response, and Gabe is the first to like it. 

_ im assuming those aren’t your feet _ , he sends.

EJ sends back a picture of his face, smiling widely. Nate isn’t in the frame but Gabe says,  _ get it _ , anyway. EJ is trying. 

+

It’s funny, but babies grow really fast. Nate and EJ are only away for six days on a road trip, but when they come back Riley and Amy look much bigger. They can also shuffle on the floor like snails, which EJ thinks is both adorable and sad because he missed seeing them learn it.

A brief glance at Nate confirms that he feels the same way, judging by the sad smile on his lips. EJ goes and wraps an arm around his shoulders, and Nate leans into it. Amy reaches out from Nate’s arms, so EJ gives her his finger to hold on to. 

“I hate this. We miss so much,” he says. EJ’s heart does a little swoop at the  _ we,  _ but not in an unpleasant way. He tries to find something to say but his brain is just stuck on that, and he can’t help the way his face flushes. 

Nate turns towards him when EJ doesn’t say anything, and he takes one look at EJ’s face and it’s like he knows. His face softens and meanwhile EJ just tries to talk himself out of being embarrassed. 

Nate says nothing, thankfully. Just turns and kisses EJ’s jaw, which —he might as well have ripped out EJ’s heart, it feels so raw.

EJ hasn’t had a serious relationship in years. He didn’t think he’d get to have this any time soon, and he didn’t think he wanted it either, but there’s no place he’d rather be right now. 

This sentiment is further confirmed when Nate drags EJ to the mall the next day, under the pretense of needing stuff. EJ has no idea what kind of stuff Nate needs that require them both to be at a mall packed full of people at this hour, but he goes with it, just because he has a soft spot for Nate.

It turns out that “stuff” refers to tiny baby clothes. EJ’s mood significantly improves after figuring that out. He actually has fun with it, spends most of the time trailing after Nate with his phone in hand and taking pictures of him in between point out how little and cute all the baby shoes are. 

They have a hard time settling on anything, so they get a bunch of outfits in a bunch of different colors, which turns out to be good because Amy and Riley can definitely rock all these colors. EJ finds a unicorn onesie and can’t help picking that up too, which prompts Nate to grab a whole lot of other unicorn related clothes, because they are very colorful and cute. 

Jess approves of their styling choices once they show her the clothes, and agrees that the unicorn gear is extremely cute. “I wish you’d told me you were going though,” she continues, “I would have told you to pick up some baby-proofing things too.”

EJ and Nate must both look terrified, because she’s quick to explain. “Just the basics! They have a few months until they start walking but they’ll start crawling soon and it’s best to be safe.”

Naturally, her words only create panic. Nate is quick to ask EJ if John knows anyone who can do that, which — 

“I can do it,” EJ says. Nate chuckles, but baby-proofing isn’t that hard. Z did it himself for Sophie and he’s hardly more dexterous than EJ. 

“Uhm.” Nate raises a single eyebrow. 

“Seriously!” EJ says. “It’s not that hard.”

Nate’s face shifts then, from surprised to sneakily happy. “Sure,” he says, and EJ should have known he was walking into a trap right then and there.

+

Nate, obviously, provides zero help with the baby-proofing. In fact, he has EJ do everything himself because, “I wanted to hire someone, you’re the one who insisted.” It’s okay though, EJ can manage. 

Or so he thinks, until he texts Z to ask him how difficult it was and Z just tells him,  _ I don’t do it _ .

This sure throws a wrench in things, EJ thinks.  _ what do you mean? _ He’s pretty sure Z bragged about it to Tyson, which is how EJ heard about the whole thing. 

_ I try but it’s hard. Alex do it. _

EJ really shouldn't be surprised. But he will not be discouraged, he decides as he sifts through all the crap in his basement to find his toolbelt. Once he finds it he drives back to Nate’s, equipped with all the baby-proofing products he could find at the store. 

Nate takes one look at him and laughs. EJ pays him no attention. He takes off his jacket and puts on the toolbelt and literally sees Nate swallow. He smirks, then lays it on thick.. “I get it,” he says with a sigh, “I look ridiculous.” EJ slowly runs a hand through his hair to get it out of his face, casually glancing back over at Nate.

Across from him, Nate’s eyes are really wide. They trail down EJ’s body and then back up.

“ _ Really? _ ” EJ teases.

Nate huffs. He takes a step closer and then another one, like he’s stalking EJ. “Really,” he says, and then he’s pressing EJ into the counter and kissing him, slow but deep, long enough for EJ to start breathing hard.  

This took a turn, EJ thinks, but doesn’t raise any objections beyond, “The kids?”

“Napping upstairs,” Nate says. He kisses EJ’s throat, slips his hands under EJ’s t-shirt and takes it off him. Nate pulls back then, just  _ looks  _ at EJ. 

Nate’s gaze is intense, and EJ can feel himself start to flush, his entire face and down his neck to his chest, but he thinks Nate likes looking at that too, so he doesn’t bother being embarrassed about it. He just reaches for Nate and pulls him closer again, presses their lips together. 

Nate curls his hands under EJ’s thighs and lifts him up onto the counter, and EJ is a big guy, he’s not used to being moved around like this. It’s hot though, Nate’s strength, and EJ wraps his legs around him, pulling him in. 

Nate keeps running his hands over EJ’s chest, his nipples, and EJ can feel himself get hard. He presses against Nate but it doesn’t work with EJ propped up on the counter. EJ makes a frustrated sound after a moment, and Nate pushes the toolbelt out of the way and presses his hand against EJ.

It’s a lot, with Nate kissing him and touching and being so close, so it doesn’t take much. Nate kisses him after EJ comes, but he’s breathing hard. EJ pulls back and mostly wants to get on his knees and blow him, but the floor is unforgiving and EJ’s knees could be in better shape, so he settles for spitting in his hand and jerking Nate off.

Nate pushes his face into EJ’s neck and pants while EJ works his hand, making muffled sounds before he comes. He stays like that for a little while, his forehead pressed to EJ’s shoulder, and then he kisses EJ’s throat and moves up to kiss his lips too.

EJ’s pretty beat after, but he takes a shower and starts snapping the protective covers on the electrical sockets even though Nate tells him he doesn’t have to. EJ ignores him, but draws the line at anything that requires him to drill holes in any sort of surface, which turns out to be a great many things. 

They do end up having to call someone, but EJ maintains that it was all because Nate distracted him. Nate merely shrugs. “If that’s what distracting you is like…” he trails off. EJ throws a pillow at him, but he thinks the whole process was a success.

+

Nate was good last season — he was amazing, honestly — but EJ looks at him this year and somehow he’s on another level. The guys joke that it’s dad powers — and maybe it is, EJ doesn’t know — but he loves seeing it. 

It’s pretty hot, how Nate skates around seasoned professionals like they’re amateurs, and even hotter is the way he gets after. He’s a bit pushy, kind of just — takes over, and EJ likes that way more than he’d like to admit. 

Tonight is no different. They get back home a little later than usual and after they’ve both said goodnight to Jess and made sure the twins are sleeping soundly, Nate presses EJ up against the wall in the hallway and kisses him until EJ is panting. 

It’s pretty intense, always is with Nate, but more so after a good game, EJ’s come to discover. He lets himself be pushed and guided until they’re in EJ’s bedroom, and then lets Nate press him to the mattress. 

They keep kissing through the whole thing, it feels like, and then EJ plants his feet on the bed and wraps them around Nate’s waist, pulling him closer. Nate rocks against him, moving with EJ until they’re both hard. Nate pulls back, face flushed and lips wet, and pushes his face in EJ’s shoulder. 

Nate’s mumbling something, EJ thinks, but he’s too keyed up to make it out. “Huh?” he asks. He threads his fingers through Nate’s hair and pulls him back, until their eyes meet. 

Nate’s pupils are blown wide, his neck flushed.. “I said I wanted to try something,” he says. His voice comes out a little flustered. 

EJ’s stomach dips, something like excitement building up in him. “Yeah?” He hopes it sounds encouraging, because he’s thirty years old but he’s not a sexless robot. 

“I — ” Nate looks EJ up and down, slow. “I want to eat you out,” he says, sounding cocky and overwhelmed all at once.

“Uhm,” is the best EJ can come up with, currently. 

“We don’t have to,” Nate is quick to say. 

“No!” EJ squeezes Nate’s biceps, trying to emphasize his point. “I just…” he trails off, because it feels ridiculous to admit this. “I’ve never—”

Nate’s eyes grow wide. He asks, “For real?” in this tone like he legitimately cannot believe this. 

“It never came up!” EJ tries. He can feel himself turn red, painfully so, and he tries to hide his face in Nate’s neck.

Nate lets him. He starts pressing kisses along the side of EJ’s face, from his jaw to his ear. “It’s okay, the dogg can show you,” he whispers. 

EJ bursts out laughing, which was Nate’s intention anyway. He feels lighter now, and he pulls Nate down for a kiss. “Yeah, dogg?” he murmurs against Nate’s lips. 

Nate nods. He drags his hand down EJ’s arm until he can link their fingers together. “Yeah,” Nate says, and he sounds both joking and serious. He’s smiling, and his eyes are happy and warm, and EJ wonders when he got it so bad. Decides he doesn’t care, as long as he gets to have this.

“Okay,” he says. “Go ahead.”

EJ is expecting Nate to get to it, but Nate just grins and leans in to kiss him again, slow and like they have nowhere to be, which they don’t, EJ supposes. Still, a part of EJ — the part that’s still nervous — wants to move this along, so he tries to do just that. 

Nate just goes slower. He takes both of EJ’s hands in his own and holds them above his head, starts kissing his way down EJ’s chest. Nate isn’t using much strength to hold EJ’s hands in place, but it doesn’t much matter; EJ doesn’t try to move. 

Nate doesn’t let go of them until he absolutely has to in order to take off EJ’s pants, and even that he’s slow about. It’s infuriating, almost, has EJ moving into every single one of his touches, hypersensitive, which maybe was Nate’s intention all along. 

Nate doesn’t make any move to take off his own clothes once EJ is naked, instead starting to kiss his way back up EJ’s chest. EJ’s eyes slip shut, and he shudders when Nate licks over his nipple. He makes a sound, too close to a whimper, when Nate starts using his teeth, and it’s only worse when Nate moves to the other side of EJ’s chest. 

EJ imagines Nate’s mouth on him, between his legs, and the thought gets him kind of desperate. He keeps thinking about how it will feel, if Nate will go as slow as he is now or if he’s going to be impatient too, so he’s a mess by the time Nate’s lips reach his ear. 

“Roll over,” Nate whispers, soft. 

EJ goes willingly enough that he almost smacks Nate in the head. They laugh it out and then EJ is on his stomach with his face in a pillow and Nate between his legs. 

It feels like a lot, just because of the position and how EJ is fully naked and Nate is still dressed, and for a moment that’s all EJ can think about. Then Nate spreads himself over EJ’s back, and all EJ can think about is the closeness, how he can feel Nate breathe. 

“I’m gonna make you feel so good,” Nate murmurs. His mouth is on EJ’s neck, wet and dragging, and EJ has zero doubts. 

He sucks in a sharp breath when Nate starts kissing his way down his back, tries to hold it but Nate just goes so freaking slow. EJ can feel his heart thump in all the places Nate’s lips touch, and he keeps trying to rub himself off against the mattress but mostly he wants to wait. 

After Nate reaches EJ’s waist, he stops and moves lower, starts in on the backs of his thighs. EJ makes a sound, halfway between a groan and a whimper, which he hopes conveys his impatience. Nate just throws a hand over his waist to keep him in place in response.

EJ feels so warm, all over, by the time Nate spreads his cheeks, and then his face just gets impossibly hotter. He tenses in anticipation and Nate runs a hand over his thigh, soothing. He waits EJ out, kisses over his cheeks and the crease of his thighs until EJ isn’t holding himself quite as tightly, and then he leans in and licks over EJ’s hole. 

EJ’s toes curl, his hands fisted in the sheets, and he has to press his face into the pillow to keep quiet. Nate goes slow at first, like he’s trying not to overwhelm him, which is pretty much a lost cause. EJ starts to shake after a while, his thighs mostly, and Nate has to hold him down tighter, his tongue working EJ open. 

Nate is loud, or, he’s louder than EJ. He makes muffled sounds against him, EJ can both hear them and feel them, and it’s a lot, just knowing how into this Nate is. It makes EJ get over himself and push the pillow aside. He’s quiet at first, swallowing everything down, but then Nate breathes against him and EJ makes a choked-off sound, so sensitive. 

“There you go,” Nate pulls back to say. 

EJ’s face burns, but he’s shivering all over. He can feel Nate’s stubble on the inside of his cheeks, and that feels hot. He can feel Nate's tongue too, moving inside him, and that feels even hotter. He arches his back, pressing back into Nate, and Nate moans against him. 

EJ works himself against the bed, and that’s enough for a while until it’s not. He keeps saying Nate’s name, incoherent, which only makes Nate work harder, it feels like. 

“Get yourself off,” Nate murmurs against him after a moment. His voice is rough. 

EJ shifts until he can get his hand underneath himself, start jerking off. He goes slow, because he wants to come but he doesn’t Nate to stop at the same time, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

Nate works a finger inside him, then two almost right away, and EJ forgets how to breathe for a moment. He tilts his hips up and Nate presses in deeper with his fingers, and that’s enough to have EJ moaning again. 

He tries to stall it but it feels so good, Nate's fingers and his tongue, so EJ stops trying after a while. He strokes himself fast, and it’s kind of dry but it gets him there anyway. He’s quiet when he comes, but he shakes all over, even with Nate holding him down. 

Nate pulls his fingers out, and EJ shudders. He feels like he’s melted into the bed, but he still jerks when he feels Nate’s tongue on him again. He’s sensitive, and Nate’s being gentle but it still feels like a lot. 

“ _ Nate, _ ” EJ sighs. It’s not really a protest because Nate hasn’t been at it that long, but it’s already starting to feel good, and he wants to let Nate know.

“Can you get hard again?” Nate asks, undeterred. “Like this?” he continues, like EJ could miss that part. 

EJ chuckles. “Uhm,” he stalls, “Not for a while.”

EJ thinks that’s going to settle it for Nate, but Nate — he just gets back to it. He pushes his face between EJ’s cheeks and starts licking around his hole. He goes slow, which is a good thing with how sensitive EJ feels, and pauses to kiss along the inside of EJ’s thigh every few minutes. 

It feels good, but it still takes EJ a while to start getting hard again. He imagines Nate’s jaw must ache after so long, and that’s hot, in a weird way. It has EJ pushing back into Nate’s mouth again, has him spreading his legs a bit further on the mattress. 

Nate moans quietly and then starts licking inside EJ, shallow and light until EJ starts to get more into it. He’s incredibly patient about it, works his tongue inside EJ and then his fingers until EJ is sweaty and shaking, his hips jerking randomly to get Nate deeper. He rocks against the bed but that starts to chafe after a while, and EJ just — he wants. 

He reaches back blindly and his hand lands on Nate’s wrist. “Come on,” he mumbles, and starts pulling him up. 

Nae moves after a moment. He pulls back and wipes a hand over his mouth, meets EJ’s eyes. “Okay?” he asks. His voice is rough and his face is so red, his cheeks and his lips especially. 

EJ looks at him and then he rolls over and kisses him. He slips his tongue between Nate’s lips, feels how swollen they are, and that’s hot, too. EJ reaches down between them, presses his hand against Nate's crotch, and Nate is so hard. 

“You really like this,” he says. He thinks, if Nate’s face could get any redder, it would.

“You were shaking, like, a lot,” Nate says, like that explains it. 

EJ shakes his head. He wants to feel Nate against him, so he starts unbuttoning his shirt, and Nate helps until he can get it off. Nate’s chest is solid and pressing EJ into the bed, and EJ wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him closer. He can feel how hard Nate is between his legs, and he says, “I really want you to fuck me.”

Nate’s eyes grow wide. He says nothing for a moment and then blurts out, “Fuck,” and not in a good way. “I don’t have any condoms,” he explains, at EJ’s perplexed look.

EJ stares at him. “Are you serious?” he asks, deadpan. 

Nate huffs. “I don’t see you pulling out any,” he points out, which is completely beside the point. 

EJ groans and presses his face to Nate's shoulder. Then he pulls back and tells Nate to get off him. 

“If you get up and go to get some now I am literally never talking to you again,” Nate warns him. 

EJ rolls his eyes but he wouldn't dream of moving away from Nate right now. “Relax,” he says, “Just.” He rolls over onto his side and presses back against Nate's chest, grinds his ass against Nate's hard dick. 

“Oh,” Nate says, like he finally gets it. He kisses the top of EJ’s shoulder and then pushes his dick between EJ’s thighs. 

EJ feels wet there with Nate's spit and with sweat, so it’s an easy slide. He squeezes his muscles and feels Nate gasp behind him, his breath wet on the back of EJ’s neck. 

EJ keeps his thighs pressed together tightly as Nate moves between them, and he can feel Nate’s hips jerking every couple of thrusts, like he's getting close. EJ hisses when he wraps a hand around himself. His dick feels sensitive but he likes that edge to it, and pretty soon he and Nate find a rhythm between them. 

Nate’s fingers press into EJ’s hip after a moment, and then he comes between EJ’s thighs, messing him up. EJ gets off at the thought of that more than anything else, stroking himself a handful of times before coming. 

He reaches for Nate after, links their fingers together on his hip, and Nate kisses EJ’s shoulders. EJ’s skin feels like it’s tingling. He kind of wants to stay like this forever, sappy as it is. 

They’re a mess though, both of them, and Nate manages to talk EJ into a shower. “Just for the record, I literally cannot get it up again,” EJ clarifies, which makes Nate laugh. 

“Fine,” he sighs, but EJ is serious; he thinks he might die if he comes again. 

They still kiss more than they wash, which is not so productive but makes EJ’s stomach flutter, so, whatever. Nate gets pretty into it, so EJ presses his thigh between his legs and rocks against him even though he’s not going to get there himself. 

EJ kneels on the shower, when Nate starts to get close. He figures it won’t take that long for Nate to come and his knees will be able to handle it for a few minutes. 

Nate looks down at EJ the whole time, fingers threaded through EJ’s hair. EJ holds onto his thick thighs and swallows him down, feels Nate’s fingers tighten in his hair. He loves Nate like this, but his knees start to ache after a moment so he tries to do his best, and pretty soon Nate pulls back and comes. 

He messes up EJ’s face with it, and then spends the longest time just looking down at him, and EJ feels like he’s the best thing Nate’s ever seen. Nate helps him up, after, slow because EJ’s knees are stiff. He waits for EJ to straighten up and then presses him against the wall and kisses him until EJ’s knees start feeling weak again.

“I love you,” he says, low enough that EJ can barely hear it over the sound of the spray hitting the tiles. 

EJ’s face is still covered in come; he cannot believe Nate’s timing. “For real?” he asks, in a tone that he hopes conveys indignance, but realistically probably just comes out soft. 

“Yeah.” Nate nods. “For real.” He’s smiling. 

EJ shakes his head and ducks under the spray. Nate is looking at him once he moves back out. Water is clinging to his lashes, and his cheeks are red. EJ thinks he’s been pretty clear so far, but he says, “I love you too,” and, “Obviously.”

It’s worth it for the way Nate’s face lights up, all the doubt washed away. For the first time since Erik came to stay, he actually looks his age. It’s pretty strange, but EJ forgets how young Nate is sometimes. He says, “I love you,” again, and leans in to kiss Nate in a way that leaves very little room for doubt.

+

EJ’s sort of neglected the remodeling, he realizes after John calls him. It’s been a couple of weeks since EJ last went by, which he only realizes when John comes at him about tile selection for the guest bathroom. EJ apologizes and assures him he’ll be by this afternoon, after practice. 

Nate’s looking at him questioningly after EJ gets off the phone, so EJ explains what the call was about. Nate’s face does a weird thing when EJ tells him the remodeling is about done, but at least it’s not happy weird, EJ doesn’t think. 

Nate’s a little quiet as they drive to practice though, lost in his thoughts. EJ tries to get him out of his funk a couple of times, but it doesn’t seem to work so he decides maybe Nate just needs some time to himself. 

After practice, Nate rides back with Tyson, turning down EJ’s offer to drive him home. EJ is a little bit peeved by that, but Nate is gone before they can really talk it out. 

John’s excitement doesn’t help. He assures EJ he only needs about one more week until he’s finished, probably misinterpreting EJ’s sour mood. EJ doesn’t want to be a dick to him, so he smiles at that and tells him he’s doing a good job. 

John leaves him alone for a while to check everything, but EJ can’t bring himself to. He thinks about moving out of Nate’s, moving away from him and the twins, and his chest feel tight. He was excited when the remodel first started, but now he hates every single thing about it. 

EJ even considers asking John to strip the kitchen all over again just so he has an excuse to keep living at Nate’s, but that would be pretty immature. He goes to sit on his bed — now tarp free — but it just doesn’t feel the way it used to. It doesn’t feel like his anymore. 

EJ thinks about that, and he guesses somewhere along the way his house stopped being his home and Nate and the twins took over in its place. EJ would just rather be with them, and that’s not a revelation of any sort to him, but —

EJ thinks about Nate’s mood after he told him, and he’s not sure, But maybe it would be a revelation to Nate. 

+

Nate isn’t home when EJ gets back. Jess isn’t there either, or the twins, but EJ knows Nate pretty well. He heads to Tyson’s, and by the time he makes it there he’s pretty determined. 

Tyson, the fool, tries to block his view of the house when he opens the door.

“Let me in,” EJ tells him, in no uncertain terms. 

“What for?” Tyson asks, his voice all high and defensive. 

EJ can make out one of the twins’ toys by his feet. “I can take you, Barrie,” EJ says. 

Tyson’s chest puffs out. “You can  _ try _ ,” he says. 

EJ rolls his eyes and just nudges past him. Nate is on the living room floor, a scattering of Tyson’s recently purchased baby toys all around him. He looks up when EJ comes in, eyes downturned and lip caught between his teeth. He looks extremely sad. EJ hates it. 

He swallows. He thought it would be harder to say the words, but he just looks at Nate and blurts out, “I don’t wanna move out.”

Nate’s eyebrows jump. He gets to his feet. 

“I’m sorry I made you think otherwise,” EJ goes on. 

He can see the relief on Nate’s face, and that makes him feel even worse. This is another one of those times that EJ forgot about Nate’s age. Nate has been so confident so far, and EJ was too busy feeling uncertain to do his part. 

It’s time EJ stepped up, he thinks. “I’m here for the long haul,” he promises. “For you and for Riley and Amy.” He looks away, chuckles. “You’re gonna have to try to get rid of me.”

That makes Nate smile, finally. It’s small, but it’s there. “What about your new kitchen?” he asks.

EJ shrugs. He thinks about Nate’s kitchen, with the highchairs for the babies and the baby bottles scattered all over, and he couldn’t care less about his marble countertops. “I don’t care,” he says to Nate.

Nate still looks uncertain. “I never asked you,” he says. “If you wanted this,” he explains. 

EJ shakes his head. “And you don’t have to,” he tells him confidently, because that’s how he feels. “But just so you know, I absolutely want it.”

Nate looks completely relieved now. He meets EJ’s eyes and smiles shyly. EJ takes the two steps separating them and kisses him, long enough for Tyson to clear his throat. 

“For the record,” he starts, “I never wanted to fight you.”

EJ huffs and hugs him too, because he’s all about spreading love these days apparently.

+

_ Epilogue _

EJ is nervous. His skates suddenly  _ dangerous  _ in his hands. He glances between them and Amy and feels his stomach tighten. He thinks this might be a bad idea.

Nate comes up behind him then, wraps his arm around EJ’s waist. “Everything okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” EJ lies. He leans into Nate and makes it three seconds before blurting out, “Don’t you think it’s a little soon?”

Nate shrugs. He looks incredibly chill about this. EJ is envious. “I mean, look at all the other guys who bring their babies to family skate every year.,” he says, which is a fair point. “They’re all bundled up and we’ll be there the whole time.”

EJ nods. He’s still feeling pretty uncertain, but Nate is right. “We’re not gonna trip, right?” he asks. “No dropping them?”

“No dropping!” Nate agrees. “ We’ll be careful,” he says. “We do do this for a living, you know.” He presses his nose to EJ’s shoulder for a moment and then takes his hand. 

Behind them, Mikko makes a puking sound. EJ flips him off and bends down to get his skates on. 

It doesn’t turn out to be as scary as EJ thought. Nate and EJ skate them around the rink slowly at first, and then they move a little faster after they get the hang of it; and also their teammates start chirping them.

“Trying to set the league record for slowest lap?” JT taunts, whizzing by.  The twins look so happy though; Amy has a huge smile on her face and is making blabbering sounds the whole time, and Riley looks around with her big, curious eyes.

After a few minutes, Gabe skates up to EJ and asks if he can take her for a spin. EJ considers it for a moment, but he knows that’s just the overprotective side of him, because — somewhere between August and December — he grew one of those as well. But Gabe’s looked after them enough times, and he looks so hopeful. 

“Don’t go too fast,” EJ tells him, carefully handing Amy over. 

Gabe’s face lights up. He nods and holds her snuggly to his chest,, starts skating in circles while she babbles away at him. 

EJ looks around for Nate, finds him with his phone out, taking video of Josty and JT taking turns skating with Riley. He skates up to him and wraps him in a hug, nearly knocking both of them off balance. 

“Not too bad?” Nate asks, nodding towards the twins. 

EJ shrugs. “It’s pretty great,” he says. 

Gabe returns Amy after a moment and the rookies bring Riley back. EJ takes out his phone and shows Tyson exactly the kind of shot he wants, because he doesn’t trust Tyson to take it himself. 

The four of them pose, EJ sitting down on the ice with Riley in his lap and Nate crouched over him holding Amy. They’re all smiling, mostly no teeth involved except for Nate. EJ looks at the picture later, and this certainly not where he thought he’d be come December, but he wouldn't dream of being anywhere else. 

He uploads it to instagram and captions it,  _ dream team _ with a bunch of stars. 

**Author's Note:**

> the hooves line is my pride and joy, i'm not taking it back
> 
> i'm on twitter @hearteyesmofo where i make more terrible jokes


End file.
